69 Runner
01-26-2009, 09:21 AM
*Important info on the Stimulus Payment*
*"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus
Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the
Q and A format:
* * "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
* * "A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
* * "Q. Where will the government get this money?
* * "A. From taxpayers.
* *
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
* * "A. Only a smidgen.
* * "Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
* * "A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
* * "Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
* * "A. Shut up."
* * Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
* * If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
* * If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
* * If you purchase a computer it will g o to India.
* * If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico,
Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).**
* If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
* * If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
* * And none of it will help the American economy.
* * We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in
America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it
on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only
businesses still in the US.
*"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus
Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the
Q and A format:
* * "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
* * "A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
* * "Q. Where will the government get this money?
* * "A. From taxpayers.
* *
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
* * "A. Only a smidgen.
* * "Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
* * "A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
* * "Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
* * "A. Shut up."
* * Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
* * If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
* * If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
* * If you purchase a computer it will g o to India.
* * If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico,
Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).**
* If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
* * If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
* * And none of it will help the American economy.
* * We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in
America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it
on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only
businesses still in the US.