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I "HAD" another Random Urinalysis test this morning.....

I cut myself at work, I was dumb,and went to the hospital through work, did the pee test and failed. I was alright with it, I knew what I had done (smoked the good stuff). In Minnesota they have to let you clean up, they can't just fire you. And my insurance covered any course of action, free if charge. I had to see s shrink for an hour, and he didn't talk about pot much, more on A.D.D. I get put on probation for 2 years! Hell, the HR gal.smokes! They only tested my once randomly, and since I work overnights, they schedule it during the day when I'm off. That works to my advantage.

That's one thing I always hated about a pee test, no time to study! View attachment 516133

You don't need to now, they have this;

Quick-Fix-6.1-plus-3oz.jpg

Just warm it in the microwave for 10 seconds before you go in (our test isn't viewed by anyone), and pass like a grade schooler. This product has kept my employer staffed, I work with a bunch of Meth heads that couldn't pee clean to save their lives.

Oh, that 2 years was up in February,and after I called the HR gal, and my manager emailed her, I've gotten no response from her. Saw her at s company gathering at an amusement park and wanted to blast her in front of her family, but that would have pissed me off and made my day crappy, so I didn't. Apparently I'm on probation for eternity.

When you have to get high at work there is a problem.

It means the job sucks
 
A friend of mine got called in for a random and all he had was a bottle of green tea, he warmed it up, pored it in their cup and passed. He thought what the heck, got nothing to lose and he passed.......True story
 
Ha Ha!
You have NO clue what I do and what my job is.
That is Okay.
Not your fault, DeltaV, cuz your a cool dude...
Just having my JOB/Position and clearance mandates Lie Detector Tests/Random Urinalysis.
YES; there are Jobs like this "out-there"
We have "Warning: Use of Deadly Force" authorized signs everywhere along with Red Lines
I'm also a courier for the Dept. Of Defense.
But, this thread is not about my job, it's about the urinalysis test...
Just though you'd get a kick out of it and let you know that for your tax-payers money, I have had 60+ urinalysis tests in the past 17 years working Flight Test for the F-22 program here at Edwards AFB, sunny Mojave desert!
Your getting your money's worth from me and my team
We ALL get the Tests...however RANDOM they may be.
Nope, not targeted, WELL paid, 20 year Air Force VET w/a TS all my career.
Now: 17 years working DOD with a TS Clearance along with SAR/SAP/PARs to add to the resume.
Again, the entire TEAM I am on gets these tests...even our Test Pilots....
Even our commanders
It's part of the job
Just as the cypher locks with a 5-digit code we have on every door in complex along with every room having ADVANTOR security system.
Just the way it is in this life.
Ever fill out a SF86?
WE do; every 5 years
Secret is 10 years
TS is every 5 years
Do you at least have a drink when the day is done?
I could take or leave the herb. But My stressful life requires at least 6 drinks a week. Or double that.
 
I cut myself at work, I was dumb,and went to the hospital through work, did the pee test and failed. I was alright with it, I knew what I had done (smoked the good stuff). In Minnesota they have to let you clean up, they can't just fire you. And my insurance covered any course of action, free if charge. I had to see s shrink for an hour, and he didn't talk about pot much, more on A.D.D. I get put on probation for 2 years! Hell, the HR gal.smokes! They only tested my once randomly, and since I work overnights, they schedule it during the day when I'm off. That works to my advantage.



You don't need to now, they have this;

View attachment 516399
Just warm it in the microwave for 10 seconds before you go in (our test isn't viewed by anyone), and pass like a grade schooler. This product has kept my employer staffed, I work with a bunch of Meth heads that couldn't pee clean to save their lives.

Oh, that 2 years was up in February,and after I called the HR gal, and my manager emailed her, I've gotten no response from her. Saw her at s company gathering at an amusement park and wanted to blast her in front of her family, but that would have pissed me off and made my day crappy, so I didn't. Apparently I'm on probation for eternity.



It means the job sucks


We cant use that stuff
They have a monitor (person monitoring you at all times, everything out of pockets, it's the REAL DEAL)
No microwave, they watch the sample
Collection tubes (2) are handled by individual being tested (me) in front of a Drug Demand Reduction government personnel.
Each collection tube has a TEMP strip
These collections get FED->EX'd to ARMY/Maryland, yeah you all know the place
It's cool, I wouldn't have it any other way...
Use of deadly force authorized in this business...I chose this lifestyle/career
I LOVE it, it's neat
Cant tell you everything, hell, I don't know !!
Cant take pics
It's just okay w/ me and my team members
we are ALL experienced/seasoned vets with higher education and at least 25 years experience each
Me? 37 years performing Telemetry in some form or another....
 
Do you at least have a drink when the day is done?
I could take or leave the herb. But My stressful life requires at least 6 drinks a week. Or double that.

Hey KOOLBEE (BeeKool)
Yup
I had a cold Bud last night (Monday night)
I had 5 of them (WHEW) Friday night
 
A friend of mine got called in for a random and all he had was a bottle of green tea, he warmed it up, pored it in their cup and passed. He thought what the heck, got nothing to lose and he passed.......True story


This stuff gets shipped to Walter-Reed for their Gvt Lab testing...
 
We cant use that stuff
They have a monitor (person monitoring you at all times, everything out of pockets, it's the REAL DEAL)
No microwave, they watch the sample
Collection tubes (2) are handled by individual being tested (me) in front of a Drug Demand Reduction government personnel.
Each collection tube has a TEMP strip
These collections get FED->EX'd to ARMY/Maryland, yeah you all know the place
It's cool, I wouldn't have it any other way...
Use of deadly force authorized in this business...I chose this lifestyle/career
I LOVE it, it's neat
Cant tell you everything, hell, I don't know !!
Cant take pics
It's just okay w/ me and my team members
we are ALL experienced/seasoned vets with higher education and at least 25 years experience each
Me? 37 years performing Telemetry in some form or another....
Most places will monitor you fairly closely while you get them a sample.
Any place I've had to give years was
 
Never ceases to amaze me when I terminate someone for a failed wiz quiz, they get a second chance but have to go thru rehab on their dime without pay. You can drink a bottle of Jack a night and its OK, you don't want your career in a bottle of piss.
 
back in the day they would sit a couple feet up above and we had to go to this line they would give us a cup and they would watch you pee in I always would over fill it and hand it to them ,boy they would give this Fn pissed off look oh well :lol::lol::thumbsup:
 
Hum.
Ski,
Very little Big Brother doesn't know about me either.
Hell, not so very little Joey probably doesn't as well.:rolleyes:


Anyone for poppy seed muffins in the ready room?
Got a true story on that one.
I had some credible witnesses to it




Oh, one more thing.
:xscuseless:
;;;;;
 
Last edited:
Hum.
Ski,
Very little Big Brother doesn't know about me either.
Hell, very little Joey probably doesn't as well.


Anyone for poppy seed muffins in the ready room?
Got a true story on that one.
I had some credible witnesses to it




Oh, one more thing.
:xscuseless:
;;;;;

Who wants to see pics of men taking a pee test?
 
Last drug test i took, the toilet tank top was taped shut, your required to completely empty your pockets, i dont recall if they want the door to remain open but as soon as you return the sample they check the temperature. Very hard if someone wants to cheat. You get told while working to report and you have to immediately report, no advanced warning no stoping off anywhere as someone is accomping you to drug testing site.
 
Hum.
Ski,
Very little Big Brother doesn't know about me either.
Hell, not so very little Joey probably doesn't as well.:rolleyes:


Anyone for poppy seed muffins in the ready room?
Got a true story on that one.
I had some credible witnesses to it




Oh, one more thing.
:xscuseless:
;;;;;



Ha Ha!
Yup, the "Poppy seed" incidents (s)
Yup, many "False Hits"
 
Collection tubes (2) are handled by individual being tested (me) in front of a Drug Demand Reduction government personnel.

Geez, during UTA weekends, they just had some airmen or NCO as a piss monitor to make sure your doing it right. Got called to that once, hated doin it.
 
I was in prison for a couple years for coke, 77 - 79 & did 2.5 years parole after release during which time I had to piss in a bottle while monitored. Never had a dirty, never violated parole. After that I vowed I would never go through that **** again for any reason. Like 'Dub said earlier on,,,,,,a good reason to self employ.
 
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