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Can someone HELP me help someone ???

Kern Dog

Kern Dog

Life is full of turns. Build your car to handle.
FBBO Gold Member
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Location
Granite Bay CA
There is this guy in our local car club that is restoring a '68 Charger. I helped him disassemble the front suspension and while doing so, I quickly realized that he was more interested in having someone else do the work rather than to dig in and learn it himself. (FREE of course) I'm quite certain that nobody else in our club would help. Most guys are too old, too busy or they just don't like the guy.
I am in the situation where I am annoyed with him (And also pretty busy with my own life) but I don't want to leave him high and dry. I have told him about YouTube, factory service manuals and such but he just isn't getting it.
Does anyone here know of a specific website or link to a helpful video that I can send to this guy? He is 76 years old and in decent health but his demeanor has annoyed me to the point where I don't intend to spin a wrench on his car again.
Thank you.
 
If it was a young kid who was annoying then there might be hope but a guy who is 76 years old who annoys everyone who offers to help him sounds like a lost cause.
 
if he hasn't already figured things out for himself by now , it will never happen. if he's not willing to work on his own **** or open the checkbook , he doesn't really want it.
 
Learn to direct him and sit back and watch
Ask for a beer while watching
tell him to grab the tool and help him start
it hurts to watch but leave if he does not try
 
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To bad you tore that rotator cuff and can't wrench anything.................
 
I work construction every day and live within 6 minutes of the guy.
I don't think that he tries to be annoying, it must just come natural for him. My opinion is.....Why would he take on the monumental task of a complete teardown of a car with such a limited amount of ability?
He keeps asking when I'll come over to help. I keep telling him that I never went to school to learn this stuff, I just figured stuff out on my own and that he can do the same.
Today he texted saying that he had planned on the suspension rebuild AFTER the car was running. (Too late now) Currently it is a painted shell with only the dash in it. I am not one to back out from helping someone but this was not "helping", this was doing everything for free.
One day, he texted that he could not remove the torsion bars. Another day it was the strut rods. Each day I was there for less than 5 minutes to do something that he claimed that he could not do by himself.
It isn't just the matter of the time of going over there. It is that he seems afraid to do anything on his own. I lost respect for the guy because of that.
There are times when I have struggled for hours to get something done. During those times I have cussed, thrown tools, taken breaks and then dug back in to get it done. I wonder how this guy has made it 76 years by wimping out like this.
So.....Nobody has a helpful video? Maybe I can refer him to Andy's B body book?
 
I just realize this picture's are very helpful ...
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images (15).jpeg
images (16).jpeg
 
Also my dear Greg if you see the movie of the two grumpy old man I think you shoud realize by now that this guy at 76 , NEVER is gonna fully restore that charger,(i have the same problem with my grandpa he ' s 85 and his volvo amazon 1959 he wont sell it to me he's not going to restore the volvo or move the damm thing I'll have to wait until he died to put my hands in that car ) better yet i think you should try to convinced him to sell the car cheap to someone who is truly going to restore that car instead of wasting your time in a dead end proyect IMHO of course .
 
Poor old guy, trying to put together, what could be, his last project. Big job for a man of his age. Probably worried that he may never get a chance to drive it, unless he gets some help or it could be, as simple as, he's just looking for someone with a common interest, to spend some time with. It's a shame that we are caught up in such a rat race, that we don't have the time, to help another person in their time, of need.

Oh well, that's life...sucks to be him.
 
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Hey Kern Dog.. I kind of just went through the same thing... I put floors in a 60 Ventura for a person I know.. it took some work.. it took 3 weekends to get it done, I did it with the intent of helping and No pay... .. I guess I was not fast enough.. so he hires another person to take over and paying for it.... But the complete floors were done .. 4 years later by this other person to continue on the rest.. this car has had some progress,, but far from Completion. last week he calls.. asks what it would take for me to complete the whole job.the other guy has had problems in making it all tie together properly.. . Like Really? so I went over.. looked and said a bodyshop would kindly accept your 25 grand to finish if you can find one that does this type of work.. .. maybe more.. I was not interested in the task..
 
I've been there to many times that just start out as a friendly gesture. I guess I am an old man now and won't get to involved with neighbor kids and there mechanical probs.but I will explain what needs to be done, it's the right thing I think. But, you just can't stand still and let somebody breed you down to nothing. Let the old feller go, he'll find another helper.
 
moobster said:
Poor old guy, trying to put together, what could be, his last project. It's a shame that we are caught up in such a rat race, that we don't have the time, to help another person in their time, of need.

Oh well, that's life...sucks to be him.
Click to expand...

I have given him sound advice on parts to buy and places to get information. I figure that it should be up to him as to what he does with it.
Also....it is curious that at his age, he hasn't formed any lasting friendships with anyone else. I have helped other people that I am not overly fond of if there is a mutual benefit. With this guy, it feels like he has a little bit of an entitlement mentality. I have a real problem with people that feel as if they deserve something.
 
Look at it this way,it could be worse. Could be a close relative,brother in law or nephew or something like that.
 
I helped this guy out in the 70's, he was a retired professor. He was being had from this shop telling he needed all this work on his 1967 Chevy II. I replaced his alternator and belt and the car ran great. It was a 6 cylinder but it was fast.

The guy past away while I was in the Air Force, when I got out, his daughter said "my dad left you his car".

So Greg, @Kern Dog you never know when things will come around.
 
For the love of MOPAR, help the guy out regardless. Don't just do it for you, or him, but the help put another one on the road. More than likely, he's not going to get to keep the car for too many more years. If you help the guy put it together correctly, the next guy will spend more time enjoying the car instead of fixing this guys' screwups. Never know, the next guy could be you, as mentioned earlier.
 
I've always had a problem, that I'm not willing to help someone, unless their willing to help themselves. Maybe the guy is looking for a 'friend', via the car?
Biggest help he could get.....A SERVICE MANUAL!!! Tell 'em anything he wants to know.
 
Geez Kern Dog, that's a tough one...man-o-man. Here's my best guesses (& I don't think any of them are that great).
1. If he has money, I suggest he find a car that's already done...I mean he's 76
2. If he only has "some" money, then maybe you can help recruit a local "alley mechanic" for this guy to pay & help that alley mechanic with some of the finer details of old Mopars. As around at your local auto part stores to find an alley mechanic.
3. If he is dirt poor & there are no alley mechanics to be found, then maybe bite the bullet & get the front suspension back in for him....THEN, tell him you need to work on your own stuff...maybe warn him ahead of time that the suspension is all for you.....and keep in touch to help him with little questions here & there?
 
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