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Can someone HELP me help someone ???

I have had this very same situation.. However the guy is 46 years old same age as me. Now if you talk to his kids they will tell you he is the best mechanic around. He had a ford E350 box van that didn't run. 351 So he says if you get it to run I will give you that 383 I have in the garage. I spent hours working on this pile of ****. First dropped the gas tank and cleaned it out. Then both fuel pumps then it wasn't triggering the pumps to fuel the truck, spent hours tracking down the wiring to find out all of the relays were fried. replaced them. The truck fired up and ran. Gave him the keys and said its done and it fires right up.

So he goes out and fired it up and says.. Man it has water in the oil. Can you do head gaskets.. My reply was Dude I got it running like you asked. I'm not rebuilding this pile of **** too. Not for an old 383 that I have never even seen. So far its been almost a year and still no 383 sitting in my garage. His excuse is its in the back of his horder stuffed garage and he cant get to it. So I wont do **** for him again until that 383 sees my garage. Not to mention other **** I have done for him.

On the other side of the coin. JJ with the GTX is 75 years old and an Army vet. I work on his car and never charge him a thing. He either insists on paying me or he just gives me the parts i took off to replace with new stuff. This was how I got the HP manifolds and the ignition setup. But Id rather not even charge him. I went to his house because he had an oil leak. Turns out it was the cheap plastic sender on the back of the block. The one we bought was wrong so he ended up changing it himself. 75 years old and still wrenching his own car. I have respect for him.
 
ive found a lot of guys wish they had the skills to do what we do with cars. my biggest problem is time. my son has been wanting a project for a while. just finished my car so we picked up a 74dart swinger to play with. i told him i would help him . metal work has been done, just needs priming and blocking a few times to get it straight. planning on getting a wrecked 300 or something and putting a 5.7 in it unless a wrecked srt comes along...lol be a fun project to spend time with and teach him some more wrenching. hes pretty decent, just doesnt have the experience as us older guys.
 
I've always had a problem, that I'm not willing to help someone, unless their willing to help themselves. Maybe the guy is looking for a 'friend', via the car?
Biggest help he could get.....A SERVICE MANUAL!!! Tell 'em anything he wants to know.
Took the words right out of my mouth. Always willing to help. If someone doesn’t even want to help themselves why would I want to help them.
 
When i was young there were several older people that helped me and gave me a break. I have no problem paying it forward by helping someone older than me.
When it comes to someone my age or younger they need to be contributing to something or somebody else. Might not get money rich but feels good to give.
 
Not sure if you remember but I took care of a guy awhile back he needed help working on his car . It did get to be much as it turned into taking care of him but he wanted a friend not free work. In the end he left me everything because I gave this old man the time of day that no one else would! By everything I mean everything! Not just the car! I'm not saying help him for this reason just as you can go hang with him and do some work make what little life he has left decent at least!
 
The problem with videos and books for him, is that they only show you what to do, they don't do it for you. It doesn't seem that complicated to me. Tough love. Just like doing your kids homework for them. They don't learn the work, they just learn how to get someone else to do it for them.
Also think about this. What if you hurt yourself while doing this stuff for him ?? Who will take care of you ?
 
I did forget to mention that he is the original owner of this '68 Charger. He met his wife after owning it a year. He isn't interested in getting another car.
My mind just boggles at how a guy can own such an iconic Mopar all these years yet know so little about the mechanical aspects of them.
 
Does he know enough to provide guidance to someone turning a wrench? I would bet there are a few kids in vocational school programs that wouldn’t mind the chance to practice their skills. They might have more patience for his attitude if they are getting something out of the deal (experience).

Just a thought. Good luck.
 
I did forget to mention that he is the original owner of this '68 Charger. He met his wife after owning it a year. He isn't interested in getting another car.
My mind just boggles at how a guy can own such an iconic Mopar all these years yet know so little about the mechanical aspects of them.
You know that answer Kern Dog......99% of everyone on this planet doesn't know which end of a screwdriver to use....weird ain't it?
 
Well I'm sure you wouldn't just jump into a rocket and pop off into space. Just because you own a rocket doesn't mean you know how it operates. Most people now cant even check the air in their tires. My son, case in point all this week telling me I need air in my tires. All this week I tell him the tire pressure gauge is on the top of my tool box. I have air right at the garage door so its easy access. Lets see how long it will take him to do it on his own. I bet if I handed him the gauge he wouldn't know where to put it. Unless it was previously learned in a video game he doesn't know ****.

Its very sad and most people would say its my fault. Well he has 0 interest in working on cars. I cant force him, but if i don't help him out then in his mothers eyes I'm the bad guy.. Next time his **** breaks down maybe I'll tell him to have it hauled to the local shop and have him spend some money.. Then maybe he might want to learn something.
 
I did forget to mention that he is the original owner of this '68 Charger. He met his wife after owning it a year. He isn't interested in getting another car.
My mind just boggles at how a guy can own such an iconic Mopar all these years yet know so little about the mechanical aspects of them.
Help him out....you may 'inherit' a one-owner '68 Charger.
 
There is a big difference between helping someone, and being a free mechanic.
None of us likely h as enough time for the things in our own lives.
I will help anybody with just about anything, but if it becomes expected- never again.
 
I am in a tough spot though.
When I make a commitment, I follow through with it. I told the guy I would help but of the three times I was over there, I did 98% of the work. That pissed me off. IN between the times that I was there, he would ask..."When can you come back and finish"? That pissed me off too. If this was a guy that I had known for awhile and enjoyed being around, it would be a no-brainer.
I am tempted to just bite the bullet and help him finish up.....NOT for any good karma in the form of an inheritance, just to keep in good standing with my own credo.
 
Find something he can do for you and if he says no you learned a new word for him
I found a lot of friends have time to hang with you if they get the benefit
So he can weed the garden or mow the lawn so you have extra time to help him
 
I did forget to mention that he is the original owner of this '68 Charger. He met his wife after owning it a year. He isn't interested in getting another car.
My mind just boggles at how a guy can own such an iconic Mopar all these years yet know so little about the mechanical aspects of them.

IMHO: Help him out and complete the suspension rebuild since you are the one that tore it down. However, sit him down and explain to him that he needs to contribute. Get him to talk/communicate while the two of you work on the rebuild, but keep him focused. He will "open up" after awhile and might be an ok guy.

Oh yeah:

:xscuseless:
 
Also, I’m guessing this is not his only car he owns to drive, so when he bugs you say, “yeah man good to hear from you how’s the car? Have you made any other progress?” When he asks when can you come back to work on it let him know that these cars don’t get redone overnight and to be patient. Most of us have been wrenching on our cars for 5 years or more (8 for me) just to get it to a decent driver level. These cars are old and take time. If he is not down with that let him know that you would love to help when you can but if he is in a hurry you might not be the guy.
 
This seems to be a never ending saga...... time to make a decision.... Just make sure not to second guess yourself. 99% of the time that first gut instinct is correct
 
I am in a tough spot though.
When I make a commitment, I follow through with it. I told the guy I would help but of the three times I was over there, I did 98% of the work. That pissed me off. IN between the times that I was there, he would ask..."When can you come back and finish"? That pissed me off too. If this was a guy that I had known for awhile and enjoyed being around, it would be a no-brainer.
I am tempted to just bite the bullet and help him finish up.....NOT for any good karma in the form of an inheritance, just to keep in good standing with my own credo.

KD, you're a far better man than me. I really feel for you as I can see this is difficult for you.

It's just a car, and it means nothing. Your credo is misplaced. He will not go hungry, or loose his home. Take all of your time, energy, and good ole KDishness, and stop pissing it away on this. Instead, help an elderly neighbor clean her gutters, volunteer at the food bank, take some nieces and nephews to a ball game, do something really special for your wife, mentor some kids, fix some single mom's car so she can get to work.

You are simply being taken advantage of. Do something meaningful with all this great KDness.
 
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