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Can someone HELP me help someone ???

^^^^^^^^What he said....
Ask yourself this KD....1. What do you gain by helping him? If the answer is that you satisfy your own need to be true to yourself, then that's not a good enough reason. He has to contribute SOMETHING to the deal.
If your motivation is due to the issue that you took something apart and you feel like you should put it back together, THAT is not enough, because these are not easy single jobs. They are multiple small and large jobs that eventually make a drivable car.
Just putting your piece back together wont finish the whole. Nor will it release you from his aims to have you do the whole thing. See? It would be different if you could reasonably expect to get a thank you and a hand shake after your part is done and then not hear from him again, but, it doesn't sound like that will be the case.
Cut your losses and tell him goodbye, and WHY your telling him. He will either get it, or not. Something tells me he has been doing this sort of thing for his entire life and it's part of his personality. It's why he has no friends.
Remember the guy that wanted me to sell his collection of engine blocks and heads? He is still calling me and wanting me to help him, after what he did to me. I answered one time and his first comment was , " Well, didn't you want those heads?" See, he thought he could entice me to spend countless hours of my time selling his **** over the internet, doing all of the work while he sits on his ***, ALL for a set of heads that I will have to clean up to use. These sort of people just don't think like normal people.
 
If the 76 year old guy can spell words correctly and uses good grammar, then KD should DEFINITELY help him out! :poke:
 
I believe in helping people who really need it and appreciate it.
Sounds like this case has neither of these qualities.
Can't wait to quit going to work and doing charity work.
That said...
Here is what I would suggest:
1. Start by reminding the guy what you've done and how much time was spent and tell the guy you don't plan on working on this car for the next year.
What was discussed originally? Just to help get the project started?
2. Clearly define what you are willing to do and what you won't. (sounds like you would like to see something completed)
3. Don't let a half finished project bother you, there are thousands across the country and you didn't start this.
Perhaps sometime later the guy will begin to appreciate your help.
Just maybe.
 
Being friendly has led to some great customers and friends for me. Most, actually remain on very good terms. There are a couple however, that burnt me totally both financially and emotionally. Over the years I found it best to be friendly, but not get involved on much more of a level than that. The guy that wants only to be helped usually doesn't want to pay. The guy that knows he NEEDS help will ask how much when he asks if you can...
He reached the age of 76. If he's texting he's already ahead of a lot of his generation and can exploit modern technology to research things. He'll figure it out.
 
Did he ask you to help him? If so, you might remind him that you're not helping him if he's not actually working on it too. Big difference in helping someone do something vs doing it all while they watch. Is he at least supplying the refreshments?
 
My dad is 81, He just bought a dually dodge. Has another that broke down on him. Hes going to use that truck for a parts truck and swap all the parts he needs over to the new truck he bought. I guess if you were born in the depression era you have that mind set that every thing is reusable but, If you were born above the poverty line maybe you didn't ever have to rough it or just make it work. But tons of guys out there can attest to wrenching on their cars Sunday all day just so they can make it to work Monday. Maybe he was above that line and had no interest or want to. Some of us could only afford the cheapest car around and spend hours in the scrap yard looking for ONE part in a sea of 1000's of cars.
 
This reminds me of an old 60's/70's bumper sticker saying. " ***, Gas or Grass. Nobody rides for free". Tell him, since he is old enough to know about them, that you operate like a payphone. You want it to work, feed coins in.
 
Hey Kern Dog,
You're a good guy and have definitely gone above and beyond looking out for your fellow man and Mopar enthusiast(s). You've helped me out more than a few times, and I really appreciate it. I've had a several of these "friendships" myself. There seems to be givers and takers in this world and he sounds like a taker. We should all ask for help when we meet our limits, but there is a point where we have to take personal ownership of our own projects. I cannot imagine a project like his at 76, rolling around on the cement underneath the car...no way. I would stop where you are, as it just keeps going. Once you finish the front suspension, it will be the next challenge. I would ask him up front, "Can you afford to have a shop make the repairs?" and send him that direction. Look at the psychological angst he's creating and putting on you. Now that I think of it, none of the people I've had similar experiences with has bothered to keep in touch with me. Takers. No win.
 
ckessel said:
This reminds me of an old 60's/70's bumper sticker saying. " ***, Gas or Grass. Nobody rides for free". Tell him, since he is old enough to know about them, that you operate like a payphone. You want it to work, feed coins in.
Click to expand...
20180930_151710.jpg
 
***= Sex?
Grass= A landscaper to mow my back yard?
Gas= Gasoline? High test or regular grade?

I hesitated to do it...I was thinking before I sent the text that I might regret doing this.
I told the guy that I would come over tomorrow after work. I will tell him the same thing that I have told him before: I will do one side of the car, he can do the other.
With that, my conscience will be clear of any further obligations no matter what he says. I will have fulfilled my original offer.
There are only a couple of reasons that I offered to help in the first place. I like these cars and enjoy working on them. This will get him closer to having the car on the road....AND he is 76 years old.
 
Hey Greg, you can only be taken advantage of if you let it happen. You told him you'd help him with the front end, so suck it up help him do the front end and be done with it. Anything more after that you do is your fault.
The guy sounds like a user, i get them often. Ive helped out people for years and never expected nor did i look for anything. One guy always comes out to the job, weld this, bend that. Never sticks his hand in his pocket, figures I'm getting paid already so that entitles him to a freebie. Thing is i dont want money but coffee and rolls for the boys would be appreciated. Next time he came around i told him i was to busy
My neighbor, mother and adult daughter, they have a long sidewalk, when it snows a lot, i give it a pass with the snowblower. Later on the doorbell rings, one time its a bottle of vino the next time it was fresh from the bakery. I keep telling her its not necessary, she keeps doing it...Theres the difference from freeloaders to someone who appreciates
 
Today went well.
First up, the Hotchkis torsion bars. They went in fine but the poly grease boots they provide have an inner diameter of maybe 3/4" and all Mopar A-B-E torsion bars have a 1.24 hex. After some struggling, I decided to let the boots sit in hot water to soften them up. It worked.
The issue with the thicker strut rod bushings was really a NON issue. I had thought that they would result in the LCA being pushed rearward and consequentially, a reduction of caster. When cranked down, the inner strut rod bushing compressed enough. I mocked up one strut rod with the worn stock bushings and the other with the new ones. Once cranked down, there was an equal amount of threads exposed outside of the nut. This should allow the same alignment range as before.
lCAs are in, upper and lower ball joints and knuckles. The brakes are next. On my advice he bought a 12" disc kit from Dr Diff and Bilstein shocks from Firm Feel. He was quite happy with the progress of today. He is just a couple of hours of being able to set the car on its tires again.
 
This guy whined for days that he could not get the upper control arms in. I sent him links to your video and a couple more. He DID watch them because he admitted that after watching one, he realized that he was trying to install the arms UPSIDE DOWN.
 
Kern Dog said:
This guy whined for days that he could not get the upper control arms in. I sent him links to your video and a couple more. He DID watch them because he admitted that after watching one, he realized that he was trying to install the arms UPSIDE DOWN.
Click to expand...
So the old guy IS trying.
Imagine that? Turns out he's just an enthusiast that needed someone to show him how to do stuff.
Am I ever glad I didn't jump on the, him being a user and a loser, bandwagon.
 
moobster said:
So the old guy IS trying.
Imagine that? Turns out he's just an enthusiast that needed someone to show him how to do stuff.
Am I ever glad I didn't jump on the, him being a user and a loser, bandwagon.
Click to expand...
Watching a video that someone sent him does not make him an enthusiast, not by a long shot.
 
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