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A question about etiquette ...

Some seem to gravitate to me because I am the one that had a solid marriage, no money problems, a decent place to live and work on cars and I am not an unreliable drunk or druggie. I do have some good friends here though.
You and I have a lot in common Greg.....and I seem to attract my fair share of losers who want/need something for free. Just stop making yourself available to them. Look after yourself and family first as a priority. Real good friends come next in line if there is time....and I mean REAL friends....not just those who happen along out of the blue on the scrounge all the time. - spelt ...."Bludgers"
 
Mate, I'm only offering a suggestion as to why this bloke is acting like he is. He may be a sly old fox but perhaps not. He does sound like a lonely old guy who had no friends but suddenly has these young guys offering to help him with his car.
Thanks...I didn't mean you any ill-will by my reply :)
 
Here's another suggestion: when you offer to help someone, lay down the ground rules at the start, but framed in a friendly way e.g " I can help you put your engine in on the weekend, all you need to provide is a carton of beer and some lunch, how does that sound?" Hopefully he'll ask what brand beer you want, what type of lunch etc and you're off to the races.
People get upset when other's don't act as they were expecting, but the communication regarding those expectations wasn't clear at the beginning.
If he doesn't meet your expectations when they are spelled out clearly, then you know he's an asshole and you can refuse help with a clear conscience.
 
I'm an older guy & usually get the call to help the younger guys .
In my case I feel good watching these guys
learn how to do this kind of work
Most of the time they volunteer to help me
when I need heavy stuff done.
 
I've always been the go to guy, Mr reliable. I have built more sheds, decks, finished basements, bars, one bar that had 5 thousand in material alone and two hair salons, for FREE. I needed help to winterize my lake house one year. The year my son passed away. I use it all year, but the boats needed done, waverunners, ice eater for around the dock and stain the dock. Mind you it's nothing to spend 5 to 6 hundred a weekend entertaining people down their, the same people that say I'll get the next fill up or the next round at the bar down the street from my lake house, but are in the bathroom when the bill comes. Everyone was busy when I asked. I sat down their with my wife and looked around and could feel that we were alone, was it pity or mad that after all those years we were alone. That's when my attitude changed and I realized my real helper was gone. I don't need a bunch of good time buddies. Not saying they didn't help in all those years, but now that the ice cream turned to ****, stuff changed. It's my wife and I now most of the time and yes we have friends and help if we need it. Sometimes in life it feels like if you're not giving, you're not getting. Some people have short memories or maybe we all use and get used a little.
 
I've always been the go to guy, Mr reliable. I have built more sheds, decks, finished basements, bars, one bar that had 5 thousand in material alone and two hair salons, for FREE. I needed help to winterize my lake house one year. The year my son passed away. I use it all year, but the boats needed done, waverunners, ice eater for around the dock and stain the dock. Mind you it's nothing to spend 5 to 6 hundred a weekend entertaining people down their, the same people that say I'll get the next fill up or the next round at the bar down the street from my lake house, but are in the bathroom when the bill comes. Everyone was busy when I asked. I sat down their with my wife and looked around and could feel that we were alone, was it pity or mad that after all those years we were alone. That's when my attitude changed and I realized my real helper was gone. I don't need a bunch of good time buddies. Not saying they didn't help in all those years, but now that the ice cream turned to ****, stuff changed. It's my wife and I now most of the time and yes we have friends and help if we need it. Sometimes in life it feels like if you're not giving, you're not getting. Some people have short memories or maybe we all use and get used a little.
Sorry to here about your son.
Something like that is when you find who your real friends are.
 
Can't help myself...you know...memories.

Truck driving, at first I was a second driver, owner operator my boss. Had a truckload, the whole thing small boxes, that had to be put on pallets. Okay. 'Boss' says he's taking the paperwork to the office...be right back.
Got half of the trailer unloaded, boss still missing in action. Uh huh. Went looking, and found him, sitting in the break room, sipping on a drink! Okay. Sat down, on the other side of the table. He says ' all unloaded?'. Hehe...I said 'Yep! My half of it!'

Had a little shocked look. 'What do you mean?' Being the nice (lol) guy I am, explained myself. Then, tossed in, I wasn't his damn slave. If you don't like it, first shove it, then get me a bus ticket back to Texas!

(He unloaded his half...and never pulled that BS again.)
 
Can't help myself...you know...memories.

Truck driving, at first I was a second driver, owner operator my boss. Had a truckload, the whole thing small boxes, that had to be put on pallets. Okay. 'Boss' says he's taking the paperwork to the office...be right back.
Got half of the trailer unloaded, boss still missing in action. Uh huh. Went looking, and found him, sitting in the break room, sipping on a drink! Okay. Sat down, on the other side of the table. He says ' all unloaded?'. Hehe...I said 'Yep! My half of it!'

Had a little shocked look. 'What do you mean?' Being the nice (lol) guy I am, explained myself. Then, tossed in, I wasn't his damn slave. If you don't like it, first shove it, then get me a bus ticket back to Texas!

(He unloaded his half...and never pulled that BS again.)

Well Done!!
 
I am 71 my wife is 64, we are our best friends. True friends are like great horses, they only come along ever so often... (seldom?). We are together 24-7 and love every minute of it and life.

We have enough $ to pay the bills, buy feed for the horses and goats, and feed ourselves. We have a few old Mopars we both enjoy. We still have our health both physically and mentally. We are blessed.

Back to the original question. I say give great praise and thanks to those that helped. Don't just offer to buy dinner, take them out for it and/or get them over for a BBQ. Find something you can help them do and do it.
 
99% of the time I have to do it myself! My older brothers were never around when I needed some help, I learned to get by doing it myself. When I do get help, I find that people are lazy, they muck things up worse then they were to begin with, won't follow instructions, whine about this or that, etc. I much rather do it myself! As the old saying goes, if you want something done right, DIY seems to hold true more often then not! Besides, that means more beer for me!:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
 
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