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Words and phrases that make me laugh.

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kiwigtx said:
Busier than a one legged man in an arse-kicking contest.
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This is gross so I figure you'll like it. A guy I knew who was from Las Vegas said this to a real jerk: Wow, ten thousand sperm and you're the result? What a bad load!
 
Funny....That word bothers a LOT of people but I'm fine with it.
 
Plums.

I called up our local radio talkback one Sunday morning (Gardening segment) to let them know I was having trouble with my plums. I said that one had shrivelled up and looked nearly dead, while the other still had some life left in it. After the two DJ's had finished laughing, I explained that my plums were in pots, and I needed to relocate them. :D

Still sniggering, I was advised to water them generously, and carefully dig around the root base, in order to extract them with minimal disruption. I would them be able to shift them down to the back garden.

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Now, nearly 4 years later, one of my plums is blooming away in it's pot again.....I honestly thought I had lost it for good.
 
kiwigtx said:
Now, nearly 4 years later, one of my plums is blooming away in it's pot again.....I honestly thought I had lost it for good.
Click to expand...


I nearly lost my Black Velvet begonia because I kept it in the same pot too long with the same dirt. Changed it out and it's a monster!
 
"Ya' can't get there from here"

"It's the same thing only it's different"

"We're from the goomint and we're here to help"

"Hold this here, and when you nod your head, I'll hit it with a hammer"

"Blind in one eye, can't see outa the other"
 
Tighter than a crab's ***, and that's waterproof

Dumb as a bag of hammers

Dumber than food

Unit of measurement: RCH (used to use that a lot, just to piss off my ginger ex-wife!)
 
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