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Adult Male Has Smoothie For Lunch

Richard Cranium

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February 11th, 2022
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ATLANTA, GA—According to reports, local man Wayne Simmons is having a smoothie for his lunch, despite being a fully-grown adult man.

"We've never seen anything like this," said Greg Marvin, owner of the Tutti Frutti Smoothi Shop on Main Street. "We only ever see kids come in here with their parents, as smoothies are a yummy treat designed for small adorable children without the maturity to handle solid foods. When a full-grown man walked through the doors by himself and asked for a medium Strawberry Sunset Sugar Banana Suprise, we all froze."

Witnesses say the man didn't order any meat, vegetables, soup, bread, or cheese, which is what mature human adults typically eat for lunch.

"After he ordered his smoothie, he then sat down by himself, sipping on his little kid's drink. Like a psychopath," said Marvin with a shiver.

When reached for comment, the smoothie-drinker Wayne Simmons said, "Yay! Smoothies are so yummy yummy!" while jumping up and down and clapping his hands. Authorities have been dispatched to Simmons's residence to apprehend him for psychological evaluation.
 
Well I guess with a name like Tutti Frutti Smoothi Shop that’s what your gonna get…….just saying
 
I guess I'm a little kid, then (but not a homo, KD). When I'm with my wife and daughter and they want to stop at a coffee shop, sometimes I get a smoothie since I don't drink coffee. I don't jump up and down about it, though. LOL I'd probably break a hip if I did.
 
I make myself milkshakes at home....blueberries, bananas, ice-cream and milk.
I don't that qualifies me as an 'uphill gardener'. :lol: It was the most solid thing I could eat after dental surgery last year.
 
Just because it was mentioned....I went and made one. Half cup of blueberries, 2 bananas, scoop ice cream and half pint of milk.

:xscuseless:

FC7 Milkshake

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:D yummy... :poke:
 
O.K., here goes...
That guy in the first picture is actually me. Look closely at the photo. With one hand I’m holding a smoothie.
With my other hand I’m running my fingers through my girlfriends hair.
Mic drop.
 
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Am I the only guy thinking that you guys forgot the white rum?
Whenever we'd go to Key West for college breaks, we'd spend an unreasonable amount of money at Fat Tuesday's...basically a wall of slurpee machines, filled with various flavors of booze-laden slushies.

Evil place.

Especially with no open-container law...

Ah, youth....
 
Pick on us "old farts" all you want.

Just keep in mind, the older we get...the less of a deterrent "life in prison" actually is.
 
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