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Need some Women advice guys.

check their teeth , there hips and feet see if they can pull a plow and see if there good breeding stock and make sure they can cook ,been married 41 yrs. all good !!!!!!!!!!! god bless her!:headbang:
 
What you need to do son is find you a Tatooed Fat Woman.
She will give you shade in the summer
She will give you heat in the winter.
And moving pictures all year round

Anyone ever read the book "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" ??... that couldn't be more true, men want their women to never change & women always want to mold their man into their perfect mate.... My old Pops always told me, marry an ugly woman, that way when they take all your money & leave, your happy...LOL... But he's a three time loser too, he also says, "you know why a divorce is so damn expensive ??", answer; "because it's so, so worth it"....LOL.......... IMHO I say just go up to the prettiest woman you can find, chances are she's single & no-one talks to her because she so pretty & their intimidated or just chicken & just talk to her, also if you can always let her talk more if possible {when you 1st meet them, they like men who listen well}, they usually like to talk about themselves, ask them questions, compliment them on their eyes, shoes or outfit, but not their body, legs, ***, hair or tits, they hear that enough stuff already, they already know their hot, from all the peanut gallery, that are too chicken to talk to her & have a real conversation, just yelling stupid comments, like dumb asses, also last but not least "don't lie & don't be a phony, be yourself", or your in for a headache in the long haul, trying to live upto something your not or ever will be... Also no women with "tramp stamps", or really big hooters, take my word for it, they are nothing but freaken' trouble, you can't change a Zebra's stripes... I'm also told by trusted sources my 5 sisters & 3 daughters, Church is also a great place to meet & pick up women, if your respectful & dress half way nice, not your jeans & a tee shirt, that's for latter after you get to know them better, look them directly in the eyes, when talking to them, not their chest or butt, be a gentalman 1st & foremost....
 
WOMEN MAKE GREAT SHARK BAIT !.....i liked that answer so much in the golf cart post, i decided to use it again!:hello2:...ITS FITTING AND SO APPROPRIATE. do you know how to tell if a woman is lying?....HER LIPS WILL BE MOVING . take it from me son, women arent to be trusted.....EVER ! i can tell you from personal experience and a half a million dollars...2 years in court and attorney fees later....DONT DO IT. your car is the best thing you can take anyplace you go....and you know where it is at 3 a.m....and it wont hang out in bars flirting with other cars...and run in the other room when its cell phone rings....and you wont have one of your friends call you and ask why he is looking at your car in a bar with its X as you are speaking to him . stay away from them at all cost!!! thats my advice...and so far the best advice i have seen on this post! whoa Bundy!
 
BE CAREFUL! There are a lot of golddiggers looking for sugurdadys.My advice, don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
 
BE CAREFUL! There are a lot of golddiggers looking for sugurdadys.My advice, don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.

be nice now, but that is funny as hell too....

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WOMEN MAKE GREAT SHARK BAIT !.....i liked that answer so much in the golf cart post, i decided to use it again!:hello2:...ITS FITTING AND SO APPROPRIATE. do you know how to tell if a woman is lying?....HER LIPS WILL BE MOVING . take it from me son, women arent to be trusted.....EVER ! i can tell you from personal experience and a half a million dollars...2 years in court and attorney fees later....DONT DO IT. your car is the best thing you can take anyplace you go....and you know where it is at 3 a.m....and it wont hang out in bars flirting with other cars...and run in the other room when its cell phone rings....and you wont have one of your friends call you and ask why he is looking at your car in a bar with its X as you are speaking to him . stay away from them at all cost!!! thats my advice...and so far the best advice i have seen on this post! whoa Bundy!

Like I said "get a Dog", if you want loyalty & companionship...LOL... Dawg
 
Make sure her parents have a lot of money! You can't help it that you parents aren't rich, but when you're in-laws aren't rich you're a big fool to marry her... Lol...

I made the same mistake... My dad was too late with his advice...
 
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Sorry but I would rather have car problems than women problems I was told many years ago. ( Turn em up side down they all look like sisters.). Well. Might not be the case. Big difference between sloppy Hoes and sloppy joes.

I seen this is a old thread. But the issues never fade. There fine when your single. There nasty after you marry. Control freaks. now she couldnt tie up her shoes without splitting at the seams. :D
 
If it has tires or ta-tas it's trouble!
And, as Sonny Barger said, "Women. You can't live with them or make soup from their bones".
 
10 years under the water... I mean married :lol: and 11 together, not all bad not all good, but I love her and still going strong, the key in our marriage, is respect for each other.
 
worthy of REPOST


Just have fun don't settle down too early, let it happen naturally, the grocery store is a great place to find a Cougar or Milf, but if you want to find women, to hang with, share some time, maybe develop a relationship, DON'T DO CYBER DATING, go to somewhere they are dancing, country, classic ballroom, Sock Hop Oldies type joints {maybe some older lady will set you up with their daughter}, not so much the loud rocker places {you can't hear sh-t, let alone talk to them, besides you really want to sloooow dance}, women really love to dance & there are usually more women than men there also, most guys don't really like to dance {Including me, but it works}, I do like the country girls, there more wholesome {I alway like the animal lovers too}& not so much the city trash that only care about your bank account or what type job you have... as someone else said stay away from the titty bars unless it's for a bachelor party or something along those lines, it's just a waste of your hard earned money, they are usually messed up women with too many Daddy issues too boot... Get a good dog, they are loyal as hell, they love you unconditionally, they love when you come home to great them, they don't complain when you late, the best thing is, when they are puppies they are also chick magnets too...LOL... I'm 53 y/o & this crap still works, I don't do the cyber crap, it's a waste of time, get off the damn computer, texting or phone & go meet them in person, 1st & foremost... Good luck & Happy Hunting, Have fun bag that puppy, be safe, damn I wish I was 21 y/o & know what I do know....
 
Since my silly and humorous post was deleted, you members missed out on the joke.
To recap in terms that no reasonable person could see as offensive....
If you are a quality person and choose wisely, you will have good luck in finding a woman.
See how boring that statement is? Is that what people want? Boring and polite posts like this?
Life would be long and dull if everyone was polite and never joked or pushed the limits.
 
Not into girls in the least, the best advice I have for you is to stop looking. She will find you, usually when you least expect it and often in the most unlikely place.

Common interests will entice you and give you a great foundation to build on whether it's cars, swap meets, thrift stores, concerts, church, outdoor adventures or whatever you're into. It also provides an opportunity for personal growth since no two people have exactly the same background, education, or life experiences and each can bring those spicy bits to a relationship.

Though change is inevitable in all things and our personalities and interests morph a lot as we get older, NEVER put on airs, lie or pretend to be someone you aren't ... because it will always come back to bite you on the *** in one way or another.

Honest and open communication at the outset will assure you are both informed -- even if disagreements happen (and they will!) -- and know where the other stands on every issue minor to major.

Don't embarrass her in public or in private. If you find yourself ready to say something you may regret later, hold your tongue and instead think how it would make you react if she said it to you first.

These days most partners both work. Try to have and keep your own money and allow / encourage her to do the same. Split the bills, if not 50-50 then by a percentage relative to each of your incomes. You will never have to argue over that new fuel pump or her endless spa days if you each fund your own hobbies. Joint bank accounts are great ... until one decides it's time to split and cleans out the account. The bank will be unsympathetic to your plight if both names are on that signature card. This will also help establish credit ratings good or bad; if she's always broke when you met her, she will always be broke after she's married too. Except you will both be broke since she has access to your income now too.

Women remember EVERYTHING and will rarely hesitate to bring up the time(s) you really screwed up. They will do it when you're down, when you had a great day, and even when you're out in the garage enjoying beers with your buddies if you really pissed her off.

Some are schemers who will be The Perfect Mate for months or years and then rock your world by announcing they've been unhappy, unfulfilled, taken for granted or unappreciated forever and are moving out next week. You might get home from work to discover an empty house with no warning whatsoever. "What kind of sick bitch takes THE ICE CUBE TRAYS???" We do. And the light bulbs and curtain rods too. Don't give her a reason to be unhappy because she will never forget it.

Working for divorce lawyers showed me that men are usually shocked when the papers are served while women view taking half of your stuff as JUSTIFICATION for all the so-called "injustices" they endured during the marriage. 'Well, he cheated on me so I get to keep his car and the house and am going to quit my job and make him pay me alimony for as long as I can get it' kind of thing. If she thinks your support was inadequate before, that gives her all the more reason to believe in her heart that she's entitled to make your life miserable. It's unexplainable to me -- I think like a guy lol (truly!) -- but can say when I left John in 2003 I only took my stuff ... not half of his too.

Above all, treat her with respect. Listen when she talks, even if it's something you couldn't care less about, and support her endeavors morally even if not financially. If you do, she will literally fight the world at your side and slay anyone who threatens you, your security or your happy home with a good heart. You spent a lot of time cultivating her love and trust, and it will be evident to see the results of your devotion when it gets tested.
 
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Not into girls in the least, the best advice I have for you is to stop looking. She will find you, usually when you least expect it and often in the most unlikely place.

Common interests will entice you and give you a great foundation to build on whether it's cars, swap meets, thrift stores, concerts, church, outdoor adventures or whatever you're into. It also provides an opportunity for personal growth since no two people have exactly the same background, education, or life experiences and each can bring those spicy bits to a relationship.

Though change is inevitable in all things and our personalities and interests morph a lot as we get older, NEVER put on airs, lie or pretend to be someone you aren't ... because it will always come back to bite you on the *** in one way or another.

Honest and open communication at the outset will assure you are both informed -- even if disagreements happen (and they will!) -- and know where the other stands on every issue minor to major.

Don't embarrass her in public or in private. If you find yourself ready to say something you may regret later, hold your tongue and instead think how it would make you react if she said it to you first.

These days most partners both work. Try to have and keep your own money and allow / encourage her to do the same. Split the bills, if not 50-50 then by a percentage relative to each of your incomes. You will never have to argue over that new fuel pump or her endless spa days if you each fund your own hobbies. Joint bank accounts are great ... until one decides it's time to split and cleans out the account. The bank will be unsympathetic to your plight if both names are on that signature card. This will also help establish credit ratings good or bad; if she's always broke when you met her, she will always be broke after she's married too. Except you will both be broke since she has access to your income now too.

Women remember EVERYTHING and will rarely hesitate to bring up the time(s) you really screwed up. They will do it when you're down, when you had a great day, and even when you're out in the garage enjoying beers with your buddies if you really pissed her off.

Some are schemers who will be The Perfect Mate for months or years and then rock your world by announcing they've been unhappy, unfulfilled, taken for granted or unappreciated forever and are moving out next week. You might get home from work to discover an empty house with no warning whatsoever. "What kind of sick bitch takes THE ICE CUBE TRAYS???" We do. Don't give her a reason to be unhappy because she will never forget it.

Above all, treat her with respect. Listen when she talks, even if it's something you couldn't care less about, and support her endeavors morally even if not financially. If you do, she will literally fight the world at your side and slay anyone who threatens you, your security or your happy home with a good heart. You spent a lot of time cultivating her love and trust, and it will be evident to see the results of your devotion when it gets tested.
Great advice, but you left out the bend her over and do her often.
26 yrs married.
 
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