New Breakthrough Treatment For Depression ......

[Richard Cranium]

.... Just A Hammer To Smash Your Phone With



Oct 24, 2022

NEW YORK, NY — Pfizer has announced the launch of a new breakthrough treatment for depression, Thorovil, a pharmaceutical that consists of a heavy metal head mounted at a right angle at the end of a handle. Patients prescribed Thorovil can use the object to smash their cell phones into tiny pieces, instantly curing all depression.

"We found that when patients smashed their smartphones into tiny bits with a claw hammer, 100% of them saw an immediate and lasting decrease in depression symptoms," said Pfizer researcher Fritz Von Schlegelsteinhausen. "We don't yet understand the connection between smashing your phone and being instantly cured of depression, but you can't argue with those results."

Thorovil has already been authorized by the FDA and has been approved for all ages. It's currently available with a doctor's prescription for only $12,000 per unit from Pfizer or $12 at the local hardware store.

"This is a giant leap forward in the field of mental health, and medicine more broadly," said Dean of Harvard Medical School George Q. Daley, MD, PhD. "We're not sure why none of us thought of this before."

At publishing time, Pfizer also announced the release of a new prescription smartphone to help cure depression caused by smashing your smartphone.

 

[maxwedgechar]

I've decided that I would just throw mine out into the middle of the street and let a big truck run over it! Although I am the pipe on a steel column sort of guy.

 

[68-500]

Amen! Honestly I dispise my cell phone. Unfortunately I cant go back to the 20th century. I will be getting a flip phone before long. Done with touch screen phones and texting.

 

[Dave6T4]

My wife had to recently get a cell phone; a hand-me-down from our daughter. Her flip-phone would not sync with BlueTooth in the Grand Cherokee we bought. Me? I am still firmly back in the 20 th century. I can find other ways of being depressed. LOL.

 

[YY1]

You guys are aware that we have the ability and freedom to:

A- simply not answer

B- screen calls and texts

and

C- respond at a time that is convenient rather than instant

right?

 

[patrick66]

I've got a cellular device that is supposedly the latest and greatest, because my old phone rolled craps. The "tech" at the cellphone emporium deleted my old POS phone to factory reset before he could export the data to my new, over-rated POS, after I explicitly told the dumbass NOT to do that. It took me over two months to reconstitute my phone to most of my old info. I was about to un-surgically implant my old phone up his ***! Went to the other cell emporium and he got my phone at least going in the right direction. When this one dies (as they all do), a flip-phone will be its replacement. Or, maybe a flip with the giant kid-buttons on it that look like something Fisher-Price might put out there.

I despise cellphones and everything related to them. Unfortunately, we can't go back to 1995...unless we have an EMP dropped on us...then we'll be back to 1895. That suits me, too.

 

[YY1]

It's a much better experience if you control them versus the other way around.

 

[patrick66]

It's a much better experience if you control them versus the other way around.

Mine is "OFF" or in the "Do Not Disturb" mode 90% of the time. The other 10% of the time, it's a intrusive pain in the ***. I miss several calls a day. Doesn't bother me at all.

 

[Rick@Laysons]

That claw hammer is only for "minor" adjustments.....

This one is more to my liking.....

....also comes in handy for those much needed adjustments on my desktop after those automatic Microsoft updates too.....

 

[Slap Stick]

Y'all realize you can text and access the 'net and email with a flip phone, don't you?

 

[Runcharger]

"it works for me"

 

[Budnicks]

.... Just A Hammer To Smash Your Phone With



Oct 24, 2022
View attachment 1363267

NEW YORK, NY — Pfizer has announced the launch of a new breakthrough treatment for depression, Thorovil, a pharmaceutical that consists of a heavy metal head mounted at a right angle at the end of a handle. Patients prescribed Thorovil can use the object to smash their cell phones into tiny pieces, instantly curing all depression.

"We found that when patients smashed their smartphones into tiny bits with a claw hammer, 100% of them saw an immediate and lasting decrease in depression symptoms," said Pfizer researcher Fritz Von Schlegelsteinhausen. "We don't yet understand the connection between smashing your phone and being instantly cured of depression, but you can't argue with those results."

Thorovil has already been authorized by the FDA and has been approved for all ages. It's currently available with a doctor's prescription for only $12,000 per unit from Pfizer or $12 at the local hardware store.

"This is a giant leap forward in the field of mental health, and medicine more broadly," said Dean of Harvard Medical School George Q. Daley, MD, PhD. "We're not sure why none of us thought of this before."

At publishing time, Pfizer also announced the release of a new prescription smartphone to help cure depression caused by smashing your smartphone.

I love it...

 

[Budnicks]

That claw hammer is only for "minor" adjustments.....

This one is more to my liking.....

View attachment 1363366

....also comes in handy for those much needed adjustments on my desktop after those automatic Microsoft updates too.....

even better yet

 

[GetX'd]

Well Ill give you one tip to make your cell less intrusive - don't ever make the mistake of giving one thin dime to a politician - I'd never done so in my life until the 2020 generals. I donated a small amount and I'm virtually positive I didn't provide my phone number - I'm not that stupid. But somehow they have it and now I spend I don't know how much time a day blocking their text numbers and then sending the actual text to a spam crusher site and after that I report it as junk text and delete it. Doesn't matter what I do those texts for donations from politicians all over the country come rolling in - unstoppable. I discovered a way to permanently get rid of their emails but not their texts. Somehow they got my cell number and I'm paying the price.

if you have T-Mobile and sign up for what they call "digits" - a free service whereby they provide you with a "dummy number" that you can use in any case where whomever is requiring you to provide a phone number you can use your digits number. It seems like it's you're real cell number to whomever because it's assigned to you but it has no real tie back so they get bupkis.

 

[chargervert]

My anti depression fix involves me getting quietly stewed! A fellow Fbbo member is completely responsible, for this episode,he made me drink good beer for a change! I know who my one phone call is going to be to! Lol

 

[DeltaV]

WATCH: iPhone 6 Plus Gets Shot With 50 Caliber Bullet

 

[68-500]

You guys are aware that we have the ability and freedom to:

A- simply not answer

B- screen calls and texts

and

C- respond at a time that is convenient rather than instant

right?

I don’t answer if I don’t recognize the number or wish to speak to that individual.
Its hard to not read a text. Your virtualy have to open it to delete. Then you have to swipe one direction or another choose delete verify delete and then delete. F#}% just make it go away!
I respond when i feel like it sure. But some people keep texting or calling looking for that instant gradification.
I wish I could just leave the house in the morning and return. That evening without be bombdarded with people thinking i want to converse with them. Im at work let me work.
And my biggest complaint. Having to re-type most every word 2 or three times because i cant feel the button im intending to push. Sure I could use spell check but its worse.

 

[Bee1971]

The Good - My work bought and pays my monthly bill for my new phone that I get every two years

The Bad - My work bought and pays my monthly bill for my new phone that I get every two years

 

[eldubb440]

wow.....thought I was all alone on this one

 

[kiwigtx]

Paslode has a solution......

Nailed it.