Experts: Reminding Your Wife The Bible Says She Should Submit Leads To The Happiest Marriages

[Richard Cranium]

Nov 14, 2023

DEARY, ID — Marriage experts now confirm that a husband reminding his wife that the Bible says she should submit to him leads to the happiest marriages.

"The science is settled," said an elated group of marriage researchers in lab coats as they exited the marriage laboratory. "Every single time we ran the simulation where a man reminded a woman that it is her place to submit to him as the head of the home, marital bliss and happiness inevitably followed."

This team of crack marriage researchers had been working around the clock to crack the code and figure out how men and women can live together in blessed harmony. They ran experiment after experiment and now believe that the results are incontrovertible.

"This really is incredible," said world-famous unmarried woman expert Ben Tennant while changing to another slide on his microscope. "It looks here like the only other thing a husband can do to ensure happiness in the marriage is to bark out commands like, ‘Make me a sandwich' or ‘Calm down'. Our initial results indicate that it's all about the tone of voice the man uses. Be confident and authoritative. She will instantly respect you and be glad to have such a strong man leading her home."

"It really is good to be a man," the statement from the marriage researchers concluded.

At publishing time, the marriage experts were experiencing a sandwich shortage in the marriage laboratory which they assured reporters was a temporary setback.

 

[Ghostrider 67]

Howz yer sammich supply comin along rc?

 

[WileERobby]

I would just add, a little bit of respect and courtesy should be offered. Example: "Get me a beer... please."

 

[Kern Dog]

Nov 14, 2023

View attachment 1557761




DEARY, ID — Marriage experts now confirm that a husband reminding his wife that the Bible says she should submit to him leads to the happiest marriages.

"The science is settled," said an elated group of marriage researchers in lab coats as they exited the marriage laboratory. "Every single time we ran the simulation where a man reminded a woman that it is her place to submit to him as the head of the home, marital bliss and happiness inevitably followed."

This team of crack marriage researchers had been working around the clock to crack the code and figure out how men and women can live together in blessed harmony. They ran experiment after experiment and now believe that the results are incontrovertible.

"This really is incredible," said world-famous unmarried woman expert Ben Tennant while changing to another slide on his microscope. "It looks here like the only other thing a husband can do to ensure happiness in the marriage is to bark out commands like, ‘Make me a sandwich' or ‘Calm down'. Our initial results indicate that it's all about the tone of voice the man uses. Be confident and authoritative. She will instantly respect you and be glad to have such a strong man leading her home."

"It really is good to be a man," the statement from the marriage researchers concluded.

At publishing time, the marriage experts were experiencing a sandwich shortage in the marriage laboratory which they assured reporters was a temporary setback.

Just to help the dipshits on this forum....

I have been with passive women and didn't like it.
I'm hungry, where do you want to eat? Whatever you want is fine.
Ten plus 5 is 26, everyone knows that. Oh yes, you are right.

Overly polite and demure women are friggin boring. I like a woman with confidence and some sass.
I could forward this to her and she'd know it was a joke.

 

[GetX'd]

I would confidently suggest - playing that “submit” card to American women is tantamount to self inflicted death. Some cultures yeah - but here … have a food taster, check regularly for large new life insurance policies w/you as the insured, and get used to wearing full body Kevlar …… They never seem to read that part of scripture.

 

[Detective D]

While I get the joke, that sentiment is taken completely out of context and leaves out a whole lot of other, supporting concepts. That discussion does not fit the spirit of this thread though, so I don't want to open that can of worms.
Yes, can. Not bag. There is no bag of worms, despite that other thread.

 

[chargervert]

Howz yer sammich supply comin along rc?

He got a wish sandwich,a wish sandwich is two slices of bread and he wished he had some meat!

 

[Cranky]

There's stuff in the Bible that tells what the husband is supposed to do too....

 

[Richard Cranium]

He got a wish sandwich,a wish sandwich is two slices of bread and he wished he had some meat!

Bow, bow, bow.

 

[Hey-O]

World-famous unmarried woman expert, pretty sure he's going out with his hand tonight............

 

[PlymCrazy]

While I do find the satire humorous here, I know I would have derailed my own marriage by end of year number two, if I didn't start putting my wife before me. (It took the right folks to model that for me)
When I began doing that, it drastically changed the dynamics of our relationship and her response to me was far more positive.
Not all have the same result here I'm sure. But I'm grateful it worked out the way it has for us.
Mama has a sign hung up in our kitchen with this sentiment we try to live by still...

This applies to both of us in our relationship. We both make the effort. Not always easy, but it's worth it.

 

[Hey-O]

While I do find the satire humorous here, I know I would have derailed my own marriage by end of year number two, if I didn't start putting my wife before me. (It took the right folks to model that for me)
When I began doing that, it drastically changed the dynamics of our relationship and her response to me was far more positive.
Not all have the same result here I'm sure. But I'm grateful it worked out the way it has for us.
Mama has a sign hung up in our kitchen with this sentiment we try to live by still...

View attachment 1558030

This applies to both of us in our relationship. We both make the effort. Not always easy, but it's worth it.

I can see you two figured it out earlier in life, so as to live a good life. It was my first and only real job that I truly loved.

 

[toolmanmike]

He got a wish sandwich,a wish sandwich is two slices of bread and he wished he had some meat!

My wife doesn't cook so the sammich thing is out.

 

[YY1]

I got a Steak-um and white American on rye the other day without even asking.

Last night she threatened to make turkey and cheddar on brioche, but I declined as I'd already eaten.

 

[MarPar]

 

[PlymCrazy]

 

[Hey-O]

My wife doesn't cook so the sammich thing is out.

I knew a guy the opened his lunch box at work and bit into his sandwich only to find a note that said, you've been getting you meat somewhere else, get this meat there too...... LOL

 

[Southbranch]

You could ask Mortimer Brewster the consummate bachelor, but Elaine Harper melted his heart.

 

[cr8crshr]

He got a wish sandwich,a wish sandwich is two slices of bread and he wished he had some meat!

Or a Cool Water Sandwich with a Sunday Got To Meeting Bun...Said Elwood Blues...

 

[cr8crshr]

World-famous unmarried woman expert, pretty sure he's going out with his hand tonight............

His 2 favorite Ladies...Rosey Palmela and her 5 Sisters!!!