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Best CL post Ive seen in a while...

Mike67

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1972 plymouth duster pro street 340 - $13000
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1972 Plymouth duster

fuel: gas
title status: clean
transmission: automatic

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a 1972 Plymouth duster "pro street". This is not a luxury sports car, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has crank windows, wind noise, and character.
It's a COOL car. It will ride like a cloud.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used.

If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a justin bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.

If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid ****:
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?

If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR CAR.

DETAILS:
-I don't know how many have owned this Duster. First owner probably barely got it dirty.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with having a pile of fun.
-The HP rating? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
This is a classic piece of art that is a bad *** MOFO.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Duster for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
It needs to be driven and appreciated
And it's pissed it has been neglected. It needs love.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Duster. Love the Duster, Give the Duster, a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of **** honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why isn't it still stock?
Because I want it that way.

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
No. But really, you should come. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a ****. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $13,000 or a reasonable offer.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends!!!!

Now with all that said, lets get to the description of this beast.

what we have is a 1972 Plymouth duster, with a very aggressive 340 11:1 compression and the engine is fresh, 592 purple shaft cam, with a msd 6AL, backed by a rebuilt 727 transmission with a mild stall converter,

and a hurst quarter stick shifter with reverse manual valve body, yet still driveable on the street daily.

8 3/4 rearend with 4.30 gears.

mickey Thompson dot street slicks.

floors are great, frame is great,

gas tank has had a sump installed, eliminating the need for a fuel cell.

let me just say the interior is as nice as the exterior.

there is a lot to this car and nothing hidden.

and the best thing to do is come and see it in person.

I am open to trading as it seems to be the way of the world.

I will consinder trades up or down. but keep in mind I've been doing this a long time and i'm no fool to prices and value. feel free to contact me any time via call or text.

with that said I do not need help selling nor do I need insults or remarks to the negative.

last but not least I hope you have enjoyed the ad and look forward to doing business with you soon.

drive it daily or cruise it on the weekend or drive it to the track race it then drive it home.

this is just one of many toys that I have and I'm willing to part with
 
Seems so! Pretty cool car, looks good running & driving for $13k doesn't seem bad at all...if I had it I would be going to Austin to take a look....maybe drink a beer with the guy!!!
 
This guy has a good handle on targeting buyers.
 
Sounds like they type of guy I'd have a cold brew with....

I like the car too
 
Fairly common wording, I've seen other ads in the past with just the picture of the car and price changed. Fun to read the first time around. :)
 
I just merged the ad words with the image, thought it would be a great ad also! hahahahahahahahahaha
Here is another version
2015-dodge-challenger-srt-hellcat-burnout_100472793_h1.jpg
 
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Interesting sounding guy. How a,my more questions are left to ask?


That **** is great. The world needs more people like this guy...people with personality.
 
Classic...I love this bit;

"-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show." :lol:
 
This ad was originally for an old jeep Cherokee. The wording is identical. notice: "...consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid ****..." doesn't really fit the duster.
 
That is Hilarious, I think I might get along with this guy.
 
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