Lizzo Retires To Spend More Time At Texas Roadhouse Wolfing Down Entire Buckets Of Those Delicious Rolls

[Richard Cranium]

CELEBS·Apr 1, 2024






DETROIT, MI — The entertainment world was still reeling from the departure of one of its biggest stars, as Lizzo retired to spend more time at Texas Roadhouse wolfing down entire buckets of those delicious rolls.

The rapper/singer/flutist stunned her fans by announcing her retirement last week so she could devote herself more fully to patrolling her local Texas Roadhouse in search of all available dinner rolls that could be found on the tables of dining families.

"This is where my heart is," Lizzo said when announcing her retirement. "I feel like I've done as much as I can in the world of music and entertainment, but there are still buckets and buckets of delicious Texas Roadhouse rolls to be scarfed down, along with buckets upon buckets of sweet honey cinnamon butter. This will now be the focus of my life."

Local families expressed concern about the future of the Texas Roadhouse dining experiences, as the knowledge that Lizzo may be lurking nearby left most of the restaurant's customers unsettled. "It makes it harder to relax," said one Texas Roadhouse patron. "I love enjoying a good steak dinner, but knowing that Lizzo has retired from music and is focusing all of her attention on eating rolls is enough to make anyone feel uneasy. I'm worried there won't be any rolls left by the time she's done."

A spokesman from Texas Roadhouse said preparations were being made to make sure several truckloads of rolls would be on hand in the event of a Lizzo sighting.

At publishing time, Lizzo was reportedly open to expanding her future plans to include finishing the leftover meals of Texas Roadhouse patrons after they were full.

 

[Dave6T4]

Make sure she drowns those rolls in bacon fat gravy. Yum Yum.

 

[WileE]

No idea who tubby is. On the other hand, those rolls are delicious.

 

[j-c-c-62]

CELEBS·Apr 1, 2024

View attachment 1639814




DETROIT, MI — The entertainment world was still reeling from the departure of one of its biggest stars, as Lizzo retired to spend more time at Texas Roadhouse wolfing down entire buckets of those delicious rolls.

The rapper/singer/flutist stunned her fans by announcing her retirement last week so she could devote herself more fully to patrolling her local Texas Roadhouse in search of all available dinner rolls that could be found on the tables of dining families.

"This is where my heart is," Lizzo said when announcing her retirement. "I feel like I've done as much as I can in the world of music and entertainment, but there are still buckets and buckets of delicious Texas Roadhouse rolls to be scarfed down, along with buckets upon buckets of sweet honey cinnamon butter. This will now be the focus of my life."

Local families expressed concern about the future of the Texas Roadhouse dining experiences, as the knowledge that Lizzo may be lurking nearby left most of the restaurant's customers unsettled. "It makes it harder to relax," said one Texas Roadhouse patron. "I love enjoying a good steak dinner, but knowing that Lizzo has retired from music and is focusing all of her attention on eating rolls is enough to make anyone feel uneasy. I'm worried there won't be any rolls left by the time she's done."

A spokesman from Texas Roadhouse said preparations were being made to make sure several truckloads of rolls would be on hand in the event of a Lizzo sighting.

At publishing time, Lizzo was reportedly open to expanding her future plans to include finishing the leftover meals of Texas Roadhouse patrons after they were full.

In lieu of a Red X
You stepped over the line IMO.

 

[Richard Cranium]

In lieu of a Red X
You stepped over the line IMO.

Looks like we have a fatty chaser with zero sense of humor.

 

[mmissile]

"A spokesman from Texas Roadhouse said reparations were being made to make sure several truckloads of rolls would be on hand in the event of a Lizzo sighting."

Corrected.

 

[moparedtn]

In lieu of a Red X
You stepped over the line IMO.

You do realize RC isn't the writer of that article, right?

 

[j-c-c-62]

You do realize RC isn't the writer of that article, right?

I realize that people who follow Jesus are taught to wash the feet of others of any position who are less fortunate, and reposting and hiding behind others sarcasm as humor is rather lame, also IMO.
I have no need to explain my opinion.
You can explain yours when you might your maker.

And OP, a double down suits you well it appears.
Happy Easter.

 

[Richard Cranium]

Less fortunate? She’s worth 10 million bucks!

 

[moparedtn]

I realize that people who follow Jesus are taught to wash the feet of others of any position who are less fortunate, and reposting and hiding behind others sarcasm as humor is rather lame, also IMO.
I have no need to explain my opinion.
You can explain yours when you might your maker.

And OP, a double down suits you well it appears.
Happy Easter.

There's nobody less fortunate in the satyrical article RC linked to.
That "person" (read: freak show) has wealth and everything he/she/it wants in this life - and chooses
to be as they are, all for the shock effect (again, read: attention whoring) of it.

You refuse to explain your point here because you simply don't have one, other than to take a shot at
RC over a humorous article the rest of the free world understands is a joke.
Oh - and I'm fine with my "maker" - we've met, several times.
Why I've survived cancer 6x and been brought back from dead 3 other times, methinks...

Well, bless your heart. Y'all have a nice day!

 

[eldubb440]

Less fortunate? She’s worth 10 million bucks!

probably be worth 20 million if she had cut back on the calories

 

[j-c-c-62]

There's nobody less fortunate in the satyrical article RC linked to.
That "person" (read: freak show) has wealth and everything he/she/it wants in this life - and chooses
to be as they are, all for the shock effect (again, read: attention whoring) of it.

You refuse to explain your point here because you simply don't have one, other than to take a shot at
RC over a humorous article the rest of the free world understands is a joke.
Oh - and I'm fine with my "maker" - we've met, several times.
Why I've survived cancer 6x and been brought back from dead 3 other times, methinks...

Well, bless your heart. Y'all have a nice day!

What a stupid lame point. You are making fun of another human and aren't man enough to even admit it, likely for reasons in no particular order mainly being her weight, and her gender, her race, her success, her style, etc.
I "refused" nothing. get your story straight or stop lying, whichever.
It also doesn't matter much what you think when meeting your maker in the end, BTW.
I would think a 3 time cancer survivor would much more appreciative, but heck, you still have time.

 

[j-c-c-62]

Less fortunate? She’s worth 10 million bucks!

Jealous?

 

[moparedtn]

What a stupid lame point. You are making fun of another human and aren't man enough to even admit it, likely for reasons in no particular order mainly being her weight, and her gender, her race, her success, her style, etc.
I "refused" nothing. get your story straight or stop lying, whichever.
It also doesn't matter much what you think when meeting your maker in the end, BTW.
I would think a 3 time cancer survivor would much more appreciative, but heck, you still have time.

1. The article RC reposted poked fun at the ginormous "celebrity".
2. I admit only to having enough of a sense of humor to see it as intended.
3. Quoting your earlier post: "I have no need to explain my opinion" ...so yes, you DID refuse.
4. "her weight, and her gender, her race, her success, her style, etc." are all what she/he/it exploits to
their own advantage in promoting their "career" - which means in turn, choosing to be a public "celebrity"
flaunting such puts ones' self out there for both the adulation you seem to harbor for her or the making fun of
that others choose to do.
5. Just what you expect this six time cancer survivor to "appreciate" in any of this, whether with ol' two-ton Tessie
there or your repeated lame-assed attempts at trolling, is beyond logic or description.

Finally...
You've routinely chosen to argue with more than one member here since your arrival at FBBO, so much so as to
resemble (if not outright chosen, perhaps) to serve no other purpose than to troll the site.
The internet is full of trolls, of course. Nothing original there, even if you only wish to instigate to feed your need
for attention, negative or otherwise.

Welcome to my blocked list, troll.

 

[mmissile]

Exaggeratedly or ostentatiously dignified or self-important.

 

[moparedtn]

Exaggeratedly or ostentatiously dignified or self-important.

Remind me to have a dictionary handy next time I sit down to chat with you...

 

[eldubb440]

pressing 1 for engrish

 

[Dave6T4]

1. The article RC reposted poked fun at the ginormous "celebrity".
2. I admit only to having enough of a sense of humor to see it as intended.
3. Quoting your earlier post: "I have no need to explain my opinion" ...so yes, you DID refuse.
4. "her weight, and her gender, her race, her success, her style, etc." are all what she/he/it exploits to
their own advantage in promoting their "career" - which means in turn, choosing to be a public "celebrity"
flaunting such puts ones' self out there for both the adulation you seem to harbor for her or the making fun of
that others choose to do.
5. Just what you expect this six time cancer survivor to "appreciate" in any of this, whether with ol' two-ton Tessie
there or your repeated lame-assed attempts at trolling, is beyond logic or description.

Finally...
You've routinely chosen to argue with more than one member here since your arrival at FBBO, so much so as to
resemble (if not outright chosen, perhaps) to serve no other purpose than to troll the site.
The internet is full of trolls, of course. Nothing original there, even if you only wish to instigate to feed your need
for attention, negative or otherwise.

Welcome to my blocked list, troll.

Omigosh! I think you just blocked J.C.!

 

[Speedbird]

Let's see?

Hum.
Colossal Girl just seems appropriate.
Wolf.

 

[Jeff Peterson]

This just in!
Lizzo’s car has led headlights!