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American Values Under Attack: County Replaces 4-Way Stop With Roundabout

Richard Cranium

Richard Cranium

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American Values Under Attack: County Replaces 4-Way Stop With Roundabout​


Mar 5, 2026

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BATESVILLE, IN — In what many called a brazen attack on cherished American values, the Ripley County Board of Commissioners announced that it had elected to replace a local 4-way stop with one of those roundabouts.

"I'm appalled by this Communist infiltration of our beloved town," said local motorist Buddy Caughorn. "I never thought I'd see wokeness take over our roads, but here we are, with these foreign loopy things. Disgusting."

Traffic experts claim that roundabouts are both a good way to keep traffic flowing and also a good way to waste tax dollars. Many have assured American drivers that they're all the rage in socialist hellholes like France and Italy.

"Do I stop? Do I yield? I don't understand it, and I don't want to!" said a local mom upon entering the roundabout, immediately causing her brain to shut down, which led to a 20-car pileup. "Whose terrible idea were these?

Already, Batesville police had reported 32 dozen accidents on the new roundabout.
 
I just back from a 6 week sentence in Europe. We have those roundybouts where I live and I thought because they are relatively new in North America is why people get confused. Nope.
 
It’s definitely a regional thing. Growing up in NJ we always had “circles”. When I took my drivers test, the instructor made me go around the circle as part of my test. I remember visiting Massachusetts as a kid and they called them “rotaries”.
 
The 4-way stop rules are out the window these days too. Screw you I'm going first!
 
We have those around here. It is funny to see that after some random Saturday or Sunday morning somebody's tire tracks over the mulch. The circles aren't that far from local bars.
Hey buddy closing time last call. Yeah I'll have one more I'm OK.
 
We have a total of one roundabout in our town of 40K. It works well though. There is a lot of 4 way stop cheating here. On my way home I often enter an intersection where at least a couple of vehicles cheat through the intersection by not stopping at all. I have a big heavy diesel pickup. I'm tempted to take my "right of way" sometimes. I could drive up and over the hood of some of these folks!
 
Our community has gone crazy adding these things on some, newer residential streets.
 
They are planning to put a DOUBLE round about close to me. It will be two round abouts 75? yards or so apart. They are moving utilities right now. People around here can't drive on a straight road, this ought to be interesting! :rolleyes:
 
There is a route I seldom traveled because there was “tee” and it was a bitch to make a left turn due to traffic. They replaced it with a roundabout and now I go that way all the time. Smooth baby smooth.
 
I love being an alpha with skills. Roundabouts are fun. Of course I like 4-way stops, also. People sit. I count to three, then go.
 
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