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Jeff Bezos's Wedding 100% Funded By Your Wife's Amazon Purchases

Richard Cranium

Richard Cranium

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Jeff Bezos's Wedding 100% Funded By Your Wife's Amazon Purchases​


Jun 29, 2025

Image for article: Jeff Bezos's Wedding 100% Funded By Your Wife's Amazon Purchases


TUCSON, AZ — Local man Jeremy Briggs sadly discovered this week that his wife's Amazon purchases single-handedly funded billionaire Jeff Bezos's elaborate Italian wedding.
"I wasn't surprised, just disappointed," said Briggs. "Man, that wedding sure looked nice."

Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez wed this week in a lavish Italian ceremony attended by political and Hollywood royalty. Guests included Oprah Winfrey, Ivanka Trump, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Usher. Jeremy Briggs said he was a little offended not to receive an invitation.

"I know it was our money that pretty much funded that entire thing," he told reporters. "We have Amazon packages showing up every single day at our house. Yesterday, I saw Laura had ordered $200 worth of light bulbs, just ‘so we don't run out'. That probably paid for a few of the napkins."

At publishing time, 15 new packages had appeared on the Briggs's front porch, none of which included a thank you note from Bezos, much to Jeremy Briggs's dismay.
 
Damn, wonder how many live rats bezos has to feed her everyday? These billionaires have weird taste. I'd rather get in bed with a komodo dragon than this cold blooded serpent.

de62a14f6daf-gettyimages-2151786319.jpg
 
eldubb440 said:
looks like she's ready to snatch a fly
Click to expand...
Looking at that face and the skin folds under her arm.....I don't fancy the snatch being much chop. :poke:

I smell divorce in less than 18 months.....probably for irreconcilable checkbooks. :rolleyes:
 
I guess money does NOT get you that "trophy" wife... in this case, I've seen better trophies for a fishing tournament.
 
F4R/T said:
I couldn’t drink enough to hit that!
Click to expand...
She's definitely a 3-bagger...... one for you, one for her, and one for your dog so he doesn't lose respect for you if he catches a glimpse. :lol:
 
I should have gotten an invite, for all the funding of Amazon Ive done in the past....Dang..
 
Richard Cranium said:

Jeff Bezos's Wedding 100% Funded By Your Wife's Amazon Purchases​


Jun 29, 2025

View attachment 1877432


TUCSON, AZ — Local man Jeremy Briggs sadly discovered this week that his wife's Amazon purchases single-handedly funded billionaire Jeff Bezos's elaborate Italian wedding.
"I wasn't surprised, just disappointed," said Briggs. "Man, that wedding sure looked nice."

Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez wed this week in a lavish Italian ceremony attended by political and Hollywood royalty. Guests included Oprah Winfrey, Ivanka Trump, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Usher. Jeremy Briggs said he was a little offended not to receive an invitation.

"I know it was our money that pretty much funded that entire thing," he told reporters. "We have Amazon packages showing up every single day at our house. Yesterday, I saw Laura had ordered $200 worth of light bulbs, just ‘so we don't run out'. That probably paid for a few of the napkins."

At publishing time, 15 new packages had appeared on the Briggs's front porch, none of which included a thank you note from Bezos, much to Jeremy Briggs's dismay.
Click to expand...
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
WileE said:
I guess money does NOT get you that "trophy" wife... in this case, I've seen better trophies for a fishing tournament.
Click to expand...
He did catch a Largemouth though. :rofl: :rofl:
 
That’s funny about Amazon purchased. Got the wife mad at me when I sent her this and said her Amazon stuff just left

1751386636164.jpeg
 
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