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As I was opening up the passenger door on my crown vic, something got on my shoulder. At first, I thought it was a leaf. Nope. It was a bird! Scared the **** outta me. I didn't hit it or touch it. I think I startled both of us. He jumped up on the car. It just sat there and stared at me. I could...

This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was...