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Three young boys from the "hood" were talking after school. One boy says to the other: "I think the Lion is the meanest animal of all time" Another boy says: "I think the Grizzly bear is the meanest animal of all time" The third boy just kept repeating..."nope" Frustrated after naming all mean...

My buddies little dog has been eating her own dog poop. So he asked my "hey mark, what can I do to stop it?" I told him, go outside when she has to go, bring a bottle of Tabasco sauce and sprinkle some on her poop" I saw him a week ago, asked him how it was going with his little dog? He told me...

What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.

The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's *** and wait.

What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas? My son's bike.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Why is there cotton in pill bottles? To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this **** ..."

Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm.

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in their ear.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.

What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common? They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!

My friends say that I'm gay because I don't like football. What a bunch of idiots. I'm gay because I like cock.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

How do you turn a Fox into an Elephant? Marry her!