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AUNT CAROL
The teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time...
I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60+year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all,
and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.
We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?
'What's that? I asked...
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob 's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow
and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls...
I pinched this from a sister site, pretty funny stuff.
Hat tip to NoCar340 for the link.
http://www.tickld.com/x/this-guy-just-made-the-staff-at-walmart-lose-their-mindsthis-is-genius
Do you know Frank?
A man walks out to the street and immediately catches a taxi, just about to
go by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "What perfect timing. You're
just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he did everything right, every time. Like my...
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know...
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."
That same day the man went to the...
This week, it's time to use your hand for a map, because we're headed off to Michigan, so let's get started...
Michigan became the 26th state on January 26th, 1837, and was originally a penal colony for disloyal Canadians who refused to say "eh?" at the end of every sentence.
If someone...
Ohio became the 17th state on March 1, 1803 and was originally populated by people who were improperly whacked by the Detroit mob and dumped into Lake Erie.
The state flower of Ohio is the Scarlet Carnation, more popularly known as the flower that cheapskates buy for their ladies instead of...
I almost forgot it was Earth Day.
I usually take advantage of this Magnificent Day to remind one and all that for all the fawning and gushing over the Earth by certain folks, the Earth is out to kill you. Mother Nature is homicidal. Don't believe me? Go for a trek across Death Valley in July...
DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me...