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A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich following closely behind. The waitress approaches and asks for their order. “I’ll have a hamburger, fries, and a Coke,” the man says. Then, turning to the ostrich, he asks, “What about you?” “I’ll have the same,” the ostrich replies. A...

Will I order a Pizza from California!!! Unless I need to treat say poisoning or have a bad case of the trots!!! cr8crshr/Bill:lol::lol::lol::usflag::usflag::usflag:

https://www.gocomics.com/shoe/2024/10/27...cr8crshr/Bill:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::usflag::usflag::usflag:

Always good stuff! I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back...

cr8crshr/Bill:lol::lol::lol::usflag::usflag::usflag::usflag: Son: "Dad, what's does DEI mean?" Dad: "Didn't earn it."

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will. At the Baptist church, the squirrels had...

"An airliner is fully boarded and ready to push off from the gate when two blind pilots enter the main cabin. The pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men...

"Seriously people!! Those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, would you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together? Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack. I have to brake hard, toss my beer...

Islamic preacher Zakir Naik got into a taxi in London and said aloud to the taxi driver: - Brother, please turn off the radio, because as the Holy Qur'an commands, I am not allowed to listen to music, because in the time of the Prophet there was no music, especially western music, which is the...

Ryan lives in San Luis Obispo, California. He was sick of the world, sick of COVID, Trump, the "My Pillow" guy, Russia, China, global warming, street crime, fentanyl, illegal immigrants, racial tensions, and the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy media headlines. Ryan drove his car...

Mark and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Mark says to Becky, “Becky, I was wondering…have you ever cheated on me?” Becky replies, “Oh Mark, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question…” “Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please…” “Well, all...

Four guys have been going on the same golf trip for years. Two days before the group is to leave for St. Andrews, Jack’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Jack’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do? Two days later, the three get to Scotland only to...

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls. He sat down next to, of all people, a beautiful blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls.” Nevertheless, the blonde...

I realize, of course, that none of these particularly apply to us, but are worth sharing: 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, “Let's go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Pick one; I can't do both!” 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're...

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. They say that...

Ain't that the Truth!!! cr8crshr/Bill :usflag: :usflag: :usflag: :lol::lol::lol:

cr8crshr/Bill:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::lol::lol::lol::usflag::usflag::usflag:

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know...

A man in his 40s bought a new Tesla Model S and was out for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way...

"Park rangers are advising hikers and campers in national parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter. They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a...