10 Signs You Are Too Drunk

[mjcady3]

10. Your head becomes immune to concrete and marble floors.

9. You can't help but proclaim how beautiful everyone is.

8. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

7. The glass keeps missing your mouth.

6. You can focus better with one eye closed.

5. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

3. Your job is interfering with your drinking.

2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

Does anybody have more signs?

 

[Al K]

One for #10;I have not personally experienced this...

 

[iraqivet01]

He not quiet, just a good listener.

 

[Al K]

He not quiet, just a good listener.

:rolling::rolling::rolling::rolling::rolling::rolling::rolling::rolling:

 

[moparstuart]

:rolling::rolling::rolling::yes::yes::yes::yes:

 

[khryslerkid]

:cheers2:

 

[69HEMICORONETR/TCONV]

pic was just too funny ! :rolling:

 

[63RedFury]

You wake up with makeup on.

You wake up with a tattoo and have no idea how it got there.

You wake up next to someone in your bed and have no idea who they are.

You drool more than a Bull dog.

You wet your self and don't really care.

You get a DUI on a law mower.

You had your last beer on the way to work.

If you as your coworkers, Do I smell like alcohol ?

If your asked by a Guy in a funny blue uniform to say your alphabet.

If you say no I am not Married but for got to take off your wedding ring.

If your drinks have cigarette butts in them.

If you can't remember where you left your car.

 

[skymynx]

^There is a guy up the street from me who almost got a DUI on his tractor. The cops were called, because he was driving erratically on the street on his john deer. However, by the time the cops showed up he had fallen off the tractor onto his lawn and the tractor was stuck in some bushes still running. Cops couldn't get him on a DUI, because they never saw him on it and whoever called never came forward. No proof he was the one driving.

 

[GTXperience]

Here's my "true one". When I was in college, I was hired by a brand new bar/dance club in downtown San Jose as bouncer. After being there two weeks, my first day off was Superbowl Sunday. I went into the club and meet up with a couple of other bouncers, a few cocktail waitresses. etc. and we drank the day away.

To this day, I still have the bar receipt somewhere and it is a good 1 1/2' long. Of course, this didn't include all the freebies that the bartenders were throwing at us. Since I knew I was going to be drinking, I road my bike to the club. When all was said and done (and after a good 5-6 hours of heavy drinking), I headed out on my bike. At the first stop light, I was able to brake but absolutely forgot that I had toe straps on the bike and as I came to a stop, I just feel over to the right still straddling my bike. Don't worry ... I didn't feel a thing but it did take me awhile to get back up and get rolling again. I won't go into the rest of the story right now but it included a very torturest room mate and a trip to the ER. That was my last "big" drinking excursion. The good ol' days!

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am!"

 

[khryslerkid]

Well when you get up the next morning, go down to your car to get something and find it is still running, headlights on, radio blasting, thats time to rethink the drinking and driving...

 

[1-BAD-B]

knew someone who decided to drunk to drive so pulled over to sleep it off only problem was he pulled into fast lane of highway instead of shoulder woke up by state troopers very luky not to be nailed in *** ! hasen`t drank & drive since .