70 Dart Sales Pitch

[Aesthetikz]

Was not exactly sure where to post this craigslist find.
http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/4071660013.html

 

[kiwigtx]

:headbang: nice wording

 

[tallhair]

Very entertaining. I'll just post it to save on the click to CL

1970 Dodge Dart Swinger - PRICE REDUCED! - $3000 (Ballard)

1970 Dodge Dart with a 225 slant 6.

You can stop rubbing your eyes now because you did not read that wrong. It said A 225 SLANT 6! That's right, the most durable engine ever made. They put these things in trucks and buses son! Don't believe me? Well you SHOULD, cause it's TRUE. Proof here: http://www.allpar.com/slant6.html

Turn heads and become the true Adonis and/or Warrior Princess you were born to be with this disgustingly gorgeous gleaming* piece of bad-assery on wheels.

Luxurious front bench seat means you will be immediately ready for all the action this car is going to get you. I can state with 99% accuracy that Keith Richards, Chuck Norris, and Abe Lincoln were all conceived on the bench seat of a Dodge Dart.

Mopar orange box electronic ignition conversion. That's MODERN TECHNOLOGY, meaning no more tune ups to fix worn out points!

Very solid and straight body. Bitchin '72 fenders on it. Also includes all trim that the car needs. 97% no rust. That's right, 97% no rust! And basic arithmetic tells us that's only three percent rust! That's SO CLOSE** to ZERO RUST!

But what about the expensive car tabs I'll have to pay for, you ask? And why the heck are our car tabs so expensive anyway? Wasn't that asshat Tim Eyman supposed to have changed that?! Well it DOESN'T MATTER! This baby has collector plates, so you'll NEVER HAVE TO PAY FOR TABS AGAIN!

Other Amazing Features:
NEW brakes
NEW carb
NEW radiator
NEW steering
Modern wheels centerline look alike SBP

When you are in this car everything feels right with the world. Stressed about work? Mad that Carl the *** kisser got that promotion when it should've been you? IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE. You are now the master of your destiny, the controller of this beast of a machine, and a Ruler of Universes!*** Oh and did I mention you will never have to wear deodorant again?! That's thousands in lifetime savings right there!

Hit me up now to come take this baby for a test drive, and hurry, cause at $3000 OBO it will NOT last long. Hell, it's such a screamin' deal I may just buy it from myself!

 

[TekHousE]

Brilliant!

 

[brogers93]

funny as hell!

 

[MoparMitch]

I,d hire that guy as my salesman anyday!!!

 

[440+6]

I want THAT Dart!

 

[Northwest]

I wonder if I trade my GTX for it.

its got those awkward bucket seats and console which definitely interferes with the luxury.

and its got a noisy *** big block taking up ALL the engine compartment.

Something's wrong with the tires cause they smoke when I put ANY pressure on the gas pedal.

And - I still gotta wear deodorant.

Maybe I can throw in a couple grand cash to even up the deal.

 

[tallhair]

Sweet looking car Northwest

I wonder if I trade my GTX for it.

its got those awkward bucket seats and console which definitely interferes with the luxury.

and its got a noisy *** big block taking up ALL the engine compartment.

Something's wrong with the tires cause they smoke when I put ANY pressure on the gas pedal.

And - I still gotta wear deodorant.

Maybe I can throw in a couple grand cash to even up the deal.



View attachment 145038

 

[razreddobie]

That dude is or should be a car salesman. He's got the gift. LOL

 

[1971 plymouth roadrunner]

The car actually doesn't look that bad and from looks could easily be turned into something that Chuck Norris would drive

 

[Lighthorseman]

I wonder if he'd throw in the dog, too?

 

[62Furious]

He has the gift of gab and it was posted a month ago and still for sale.