funny questions for aussies by naive foreigners

[benno440]

Actual comments asked by foreigners to Australian radio show.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

Aepends how much you've been drinking.
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Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
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Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
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Qlease send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from..
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Qo you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

 

[Hemi Rebel]

Ok, hope this is not to naive a question, is there something special about kings cross?

 

[khryslerkid]

When you flush your toilet in Australia, does the water swirl clockwise or counterclockwise?

 

[super-bee_ski]

Cool,
I must say, I've been to Perth AND Melbourne (2X)
I LOVE Australia
I LOVE the people there
And they LOVE Cars and the Car hobby!
PS: The Gals are gorgeous!

 

[benno440]

kings cross is a street in sydney, that is just strip clubs, brothels, asians, bikies, drugs. been there once its pretty seedy. always hearing about a bashing or stabbing there.

- - - Updated - - -

When you flush your toilet in Austria, does the water swirl clockwise or counterclockwise?

unsure never taken notice, probably exactly how they portray it in the simpsons haha

 

[HawkRod]

When you flush your toilet in Austria, does the water swirl clockwise or counterclockwise?

(I think you meant Australia)
You are thinking about the effect of the Coriolis force. It is too weak a force to do anything about the way water swirls down a drain - that is an old wives tale. The only thing that will affect that is the design of the toilet, not where in the world it is placed...

 

[TekHousE]

I have been to 'the cross' plenty of times, and yep it can be a little rough..But I'm from Adelaide and at the time I left SA for QLD, Hindley Street was the most dangerous street in Australia!