These from over across the pond....
WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
These glorious insults are from an era before
the English language became boiled down
to 4-letter words
A Member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows
or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli,
"whether I embrace your policies
or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike
and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
I have never killed a man, but I
have read many obituaries with
great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow.
"He has never been known to use a word
that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your
book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas.
"I didn't attend the funeral, but Isent a nice letter
saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain.
"He has no enemies, but is intensely
disliked by his friends.."
-Oscar Wilde.
"I am enclosing two tickets to the
first night of my new play; bring
a friend, if you have one."
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first
night, will attend second
... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you;
it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop.
"He is a self-made man
and worships his creator."
- John Bright.
"I've just learned about his illness.
Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb.
"He is not only dull himself;
he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson.
"He is simply a shiver looking for
a spine to run up."
-Paul Keating.
"He loves nature in spite of what it
did to him."
-Forrest Tucker.
"Why do you sit there looking like an
envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain.
"His mother should have thrown him away
and kept the stork.."
- Mae West.
"Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde.
"He uses statistics as a drunken man
uses lamp-posts... for support
rather than illumination."-
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912).
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder.
"I've had a perfectly wonderful
evening. But this wasn't it."
– Groucho
WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
These glorious insults are from an era before
the English language became boiled down
to 4-letter words
A Member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows
or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli,
"whether I embrace your policies
or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike
and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
I have never killed a man, but I
have read many obituaries with
great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow.
"He has never been known to use a word
that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your
book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas.
"I didn't attend the funeral, but Isent a nice letter
saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain.
"He has no enemies, but is intensely
disliked by his friends.."
-Oscar Wilde.
"I am enclosing two tickets to the
first night of my new play; bring
a friend, if you have one."
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first
night, will attend second
... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you;
it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop.
"He is a self-made man
and worships his creator."
- John Bright.
"I've just learned about his illness.
Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb.
"He is not only dull himself;
he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson.
"He is simply a shiver looking for
a spine to run up."
-Paul Keating.
"He loves nature in spite of what it
did to him."
-Forrest Tucker.
"Why do you sit there looking like an
envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain.
"His mother should have thrown him away
and kept the stork.."
- Mae West.
"Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde.
"He uses statistics as a drunken man
uses lamp-posts... for support
rather than illumination."-
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912).
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder.
"I've had a perfectly wonderful
evening. But this wasn't it."
– Groucho
