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PART ONE: CHECKING OUT THE VEHICLE - Photon440
Are you usually nervous about the prospect of checking out a used car with the owner, a total stranger, looking on? Do you wish you had the guts to throw a lowball offer, but lose your nerve when confronted with a loud know-it-all?
No need to feel intimidated! Put yourself in control, and follow a few simple tips to baffle and puzzle the seller. Putting yourself in charge could give you the power to swing a better deal!
First of all, do your best to quickly size up the seller when you first arrive at the used car location. Are they bragging about how great the engine and mechanical condition is in? Defuse the situation, and resist the urge to quickly throw open the hood to see this technical marvel. Instead, try a few of these ideas to derail the seller's bravado, and bring on the confussion.
It's important that you first ask if the owner minds if you check the car out. Most sellers will of course agree - not realizing what they're letting themselves in for.
Go back to your car, and slip on a white lab coat.
1. Spend time scrutinizing seemingly unimportant items. Check out the cigarette lighter. Check it again. Pull out a multimeter and note the lighter socket voltage reading on a small note pad. Examine the lighter itself, use a magnifying glass. If it's been used, make quiet 'tsk, tsk' sounds, while sadly shaking your head. Bring the lighter out into the sun to check it further. Spend at least five minutes on this one item alone. If possible, bring along a spare lighter, and a pyrometer. Plug your spare into the socket, take a heat reading, and compare to the stock one. Make more 'tsk' sounds, frown a lot and appear concerned.
As time drags on, the seller will overcome restraint and ask obvious questions, like "that's not really important, is it", and "aren't you more interested in the engine"? Just casually answer that you "want to make sure of a few things", but don't offer any extra explanation.
2. Finish off with the cigarette lighter by wiping it clean and carefully inserting it back into it's socket. Spend another 30 - 40 seconds adjusting it back and forth so that the smoke on the knob icon points exactly straight up. Finally, examine the ashtray. It may be cleaned for the sale, but pull a cotton swab from your lab coat pocket and wipe up any residue that may be still on the ashtray surface. Look at it closely, mutter something like "thought so", and drop the cotton into a plastic envelope. Write something on the envelope, and tuck it back in your pocket.
3. Ask for the keys. This will relieve the nerves of the seller, for now you're surely going to start the thing up and get on with it. But instead, merely turn the key to accessories, and switch on the radio. Listen to it very, very quietly. Tune between AM stations and listen to static. Play with the static for awhile, adjusting the balance and fader controls. Turn up the bass, and send the volume crashing up and down like ocean surf. Then step out and pop open the trunk lid, scrutizing the speakers. If you have a cellular phone, take it out and pretend to call someone. Hold the phone to the hissing speakers, and then pretend you're asking questions to your pretend caller concerning richness of sound, clarity, and make a few comments about dust on the speaker wires, then frown again.
Be prepared for cassette, USB and CD stereos, and accordingly, bring out either a tape, jump drive or disc and insert it to continue testing the stereo. Make sure to have recorded more static on your test media, and proceed to check it all over again. By now, the seller is convinced that you're ready for a padded cell, so boost the volume to the maximum, then very quietly speak to the seller. It doesn't matter what you say, just keep your lips moving; they won't hear it anyway. When they shout back that they can't hear you, turn down the volume and say "Pardon me"?
4. Finishing off with the stereo examination, step back and prepare to close the trunk lid. Close very slowly, so the hinge springs will creak and pop. Stop closing, reopen and examine the hinges. Ask when they were last overhauled. "tsk tsk", and then off-handedly inform the seller not to worry about the condition of the springs, as you have a friend who works as a "trunk spring blueprinter". Gaze off into space for awhile to pass more time, then snap your fingers loudly, as if suddenly remembering something important. Draw your your magnifying glass once again, and begin studying the trunk light. If you have a light meter for photography, by all means take a few readings.
Make more notes in your notepad. It helps to have a small mirror to help examine the back of the bulb, and also a cloth to prevent finger burns when you extract the bulb. Take it out for polishing, check for tarnish on the socket, then carefully reinsert it and take fresh light readings. Look pleased at the new results. Make more notes.
5. Finally, throw the seller a bone. Ask if you can check under the hood. Delighted, the seller will jump at the chance, spring the hood latch, and have it open for you in seconds. Don't look under the hood at first, however. Instead, pretend to be momentarily distracted by the radio antenna. Walk around to it, flick it a few times to listen to the twangy noises it makes, then pull out a tape and measure the length.
Make more notes. If you have a micrometer, you may also check on the rod's thickness at various places along it's length. Beam a big smile to the seller, and explain that you haven't seen such a fine antenna in quite awhile. Ask if it's NOS or original. You probably won't get much more than stunned silence for an answer. But now you can check the engine.
6. Walk back to the front of the car, start to bend down to examine under the hood, then keep bending all the way down to adjust your shoelaces. Ask the seller "Mind if I smoke"? Usually the answer is "no problem, go ahead". Say thanks, but then don't light up, or make any indication of every wanting to.
Dip a thermometer into the window cleaner bottle, then notice the under hood light. Casually ask if they agree that it looks a bit dimmer than the trunk light. The seller might be pulling out hairs by now in frustration.... Pull out the thermometer, look puzzled, shake it a bit, and put it away. Make a quick note, then scribble it out furiously. Out of the blue, ask if the exhaust manifold bolts have been drilled and safety wired.
7. Tell the seller that you've been just dying to hear the engine running, and could they start it please. But just before they get to the key, call out "wait a minute", and explain that it would be better to check the spark plugs now, before they get too hot to handle.
Open your toolbox and pull the proper wrenches for the sparkplugs. Stop to polish them before use. Remove the first plug, and examine the insulator. Frown some more, and examine again under ultraviolet light. Take some notes, and lay the plug on a piece of white cardboard, and take a picture of it. Carefully measure the gap, then set up a triple beam balance scale, and weigh the spark plug. With a small wire brush, remove any visible carbon residue, and reweigh. Act surprised, jot down more notes, and ask what the plugs weighed when they were brand new. Continue with the remaining sparkplugs, while keeping up non-technical banter. Ask about the new Neil Young album, and how it compares to 2LiveCrew. Ask when the windshield wiper arm nuts were last torqued. Suggest to the seller that they should reinstall the plugs as you don't want to risk overtightening them and damaging the cylinder head. While they're doing that, step back into the car and put in a new tape/disk with dentist drill and bandsaw sounds. Turn up the treble and volume.
8. Plugs installed, the owner is now ready to show you the engine running. Mention that you're just going to check the oil level first. Very slowly, pull out the dipstick. When it's almost out, stop, and double check that the plug wires have been properly pushed on. then extract the rest of the dipstick. It doesn't matter how clean the oil looks, or that it's at the proper level, you can still exclaim "a-ha! What's this?" Then drip some oil onto litmus strips to check for acidity. Don't let the seller see any results of colour change. Ask what their favourite oil filter is, and what their views on gun control are.
9. Check your watch, mention that time is running late, and you'd like to hear the engine, if they don't mind. Slide into the passenger seat, extract the owner's manual from the glove box, and carefully read (out loud) the factory recommended starting procedure. Nod your head that it's now okay to start it up. Immediately ask to have it shut off, and say you'll assume that everything checks out. Ask how long it will idle before it uses up a tank of gas.
Now comes the really fun part.
PART TWO: TEST DRIVE & NEGOTIATING THE DEAL
(to be continued)
Are you usually nervous about the prospect of checking out a used car with the owner, a total stranger, looking on? Do you wish you had the guts to throw a lowball offer, but lose your nerve when confronted with a loud know-it-all?
No need to feel intimidated! Put yourself in control, and follow a few simple tips to baffle and puzzle the seller. Putting yourself in charge could give you the power to swing a better deal!
First of all, do your best to quickly size up the seller when you first arrive at the used car location. Are they bragging about how great the engine and mechanical condition is in? Defuse the situation, and resist the urge to quickly throw open the hood to see this technical marvel. Instead, try a few of these ideas to derail the seller's bravado, and bring on the confussion.
It's important that you first ask if the owner minds if you check the car out. Most sellers will of course agree - not realizing what they're letting themselves in for.
Go back to your car, and slip on a white lab coat.
1. Spend time scrutinizing seemingly unimportant items. Check out the cigarette lighter. Check it again. Pull out a multimeter and note the lighter socket voltage reading on a small note pad. Examine the lighter itself, use a magnifying glass. If it's been used, make quiet 'tsk, tsk' sounds, while sadly shaking your head. Bring the lighter out into the sun to check it further. Spend at least five minutes on this one item alone. If possible, bring along a spare lighter, and a pyrometer. Plug your spare into the socket, take a heat reading, and compare to the stock one. Make more 'tsk' sounds, frown a lot and appear concerned.
As time drags on, the seller will overcome restraint and ask obvious questions, like "that's not really important, is it", and "aren't you more interested in the engine"? Just casually answer that you "want to make sure of a few things", but don't offer any extra explanation.
2. Finish off with the cigarette lighter by wiping it clean and carefully inserting it back into it's socket. Spend another 30 - 40 seconds adjusting it back and forth so that the smoke on the knob icon points exactly straight up. Finally, examine the ashtray. It may be cleaned for the sale, but pull a cotton swab from your lab coat pocket and wipe up any residue that may be still on the ashtray surface. Look at it closely, mutter something like "thought so", and drop the cotton into a plastic envelope. Write something on the envelope, and tuck it back in your pocket.
3. Ask for the keys. This will relieve the nerves of the seller, for now you're surely going to start the thing up and get on with it. But instead, merely turn the key to accessories, and switch on the radio. Listen to it very, very quietly. Tune between AM stations and listen to static. Play with the static for awhile, adjusting the balance and fader controls. Turn up the bass, and send the volume crashing up and down like ocean surf. Then step out and pop open the trunk lid, scrutizing the speakers. If you have a cellular phone, take it out and pretend to call someone. Hold the phone to the hissing speakers, and then pretend you're asking questions to your pretend caller concerning richness of sound, clarity, and make a few comments about dust on the speaker wires, then frown again.
Be prepared for cassette, USB and CD stereos, and accordingly, bring out either a tape, jump drive or disc and insert it to continue testing the stereo. Make sure to have recorded more static on your test media, and proceed to check it all over again. By now, the seller is convinced that you're ready for a padded cell, so boost the volume to the maximum, then very quietly speak to the seller. It doesn't matter what you say, just keep your lips moving; they won't hear it anyway. When they shout back that they can't hear you, turn down the volume and say "Pardon me"?
4. Finishing off with the stereo examination, step back and prepare to close the trunk lid. Close very slowly, so the hinge springs will creak and pop. Stop closing, reopen and examine the hinges. Ask when they were last overhauled. "tsk tsk", and then off-handedly inform the seller not to worry about the condition of the springs, as you have a friend who works as a "trunk spring blueprinter". Gaze off into space for awhile to pass more time, then snap your fingers loudly, as if suddenly remembering something important. Draw your your magnifying glass once again, and begin studying the trunk light. If you have a light meter for photography, by all means take a few readings.
Make more notes in your notepad. It helps to have a small mirror to help examine the back of the bulb, and also a cloth to prevent finger burns when you extract the bulb. Take it out for polishing, check for tarnish on the socket, then carefully reinsert it and take fresh light readings. Look pleased at the new results. Make more notes.
5. Finally, throw the seller a bone. Ask if you can check under the hood. Delighted, the seller will jump at the chance, spring the hood latch, and have it open for you in seconds. Don't look under the hood at first, however. Instead, pretend to be momentarily distracted by the radio antenna. Walk around to it, flick it a few times to listen to the twangy noises it makes, then pull out a tape and measure the length.
Make more notes. If you have a micrometer, you may also check on the rod's thickness at various places along it's length. Beam a big smile to the seller, and explain that you haven't seen such a fine antenna in quite awhile. Ask if it's NOS or original. You probably won't get much more than stunned silence for an answer. But now you can check the engine.
6. Walk back to the front of the car, start to bend down to examine under the hood, then keep bending all the way down to adjust your shoelaces. Ask the seller "Mind if I smoke"? Usually the answer is "no problem, go ahead". Say thanks, but then don't light up, or make any indication of every wanting to.
Dip a thermometer into the window cleaner bottle, then notice the under hood light. Casually ask if they agree that it looks a bit dimmer than the trunk light. The seller might be pulling out hairs by now in frustration.... Pull out the thermometer, look puzzled, shake it a bit, and put it away. Make a quick note, then scribble it out furiously. Out of the blue, ask if the exhaust manifold bolts have been drilled and safety wired.
7. Tell the seller that you've been just dying to hear the engine running, and could they start it please. But just before they get to the key, call out "wait a minute", and explain that it would be better to check the spark plugs now, before they get too hot to handle.
Open your toolbox and pull the proper wrenches for the sparkplugs. Stop to polish them before use. Remove the first plug, and examine the insulator. Frown some more, and examine again under ultraviolet light. Take some notes, and lay the plug on a piece of white cardboard, and take a picture of it. Carefully measure the gap, then set up a triple beam balance scale, and weigh the spark plug. With a small wire brush, remove any visible carbon residue, and reweigh. Act surprised, jot down more notes, and ask what the plugs weighed when they were brand new. Continue with the remaining sparkplugs, while keeping up non-technical banter. Ask about the new Neil Young album, and how it compares to 2LiveCrew. Ask when the windshield wiper arm nuts were last torqued. Suggest to the seller that they should reinstall the plugs as you don't want to risk overtightening them and damaging the cylinder head. While they're doing that, step back into the car and put in a new tape/disk with dentist drill and bandsaw sounds. Turn up the treble and volume.
8. Plugs installed, the owner is now ready to show you the engine running. Mention that you're just going to check the oil level first. Very slowly, pull out the dipstick. When it's almost out, stop, and double check that the plug wires have been properly pushed on. then extract the rest of the dipstick. It doesn't matter how clean the oil looks, or that it's at the proper level, you can still exclaim "a-ha! What's this?" Then drip some oil onto litmus strips to check for acidity. Don't let the seller see any results of colour change. Ask what their favourite oil filter is, and what their views on gun control are.
9. Check your watch, mention that time is running late, and you'd like to hear the engine, if they don't mind. Slide into the passenger seat, extract the owner's manual from the glove box, and carefully read (out loud) the factory recommended starting procedure. Nod your head that it's now okay to start it up. Immediately ask to have it shut off, and say you'll assume that everything checks out. Ask how long it will idle before it uses up a tank of gas.
Now comes the really fun part.
PART TWO: TEST DRIVE & NEGOTIATING THE DEAL
(to be continued)
