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Jennifer Lopez Now Just One Away On Her Divorce Punch Card From Getting A Free Husband

Richard Cranium

Richard Cranium

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Jennifer Lopez, star of the 2002 box office thriller Enough, filed for divorce from husband Ben Affleck after just two years, earning herself another punch on her divorce punch card, reportedly leaving her just one punch away from earning a free husband.

"I'm getting so close!" witnesses heard the singer/actress say as she handed her punch card over to a courtroom clerk.

Jennifer Lopez, or J-Lo as no one likes to call her, first received her Divorce Loyalty Card from a local Subway in 1996, shortly before marrying her first husband Ojani Noa. The punch card can be redeemed for either a free husband or a foot-long Cold Cut Combo at participating Subway locations.

A spokesperson for Lopez has denied allegations that the actress is intentionally running through marriages just so she can get a free husband. "This is not accurate. Though Ms. Lopez is excited about the prospect of a free husband, she knows that that marriage could also lead to divorce; a divorce that would not earn her a punch on her punch card, which I think we can all agree would be tragic."

At publishing time, Ben Affleck wistfully looked at his own punch card, ashamed to have only accumulated two punches on it.
 
OK, If I have to take one for the team...

you can give her my number.
 
People changing partners like they change their underwear.
 
YY1 said:
OK, If I have to take one for the team...

you can give her my number.
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Like, it will be only 2 years out of your life. Your number would be 5. I think she just turned 55, so, you can likely get senior discounts at some places. Bonus!
 
Maybe Prince Harry can trade in his wife for J-Lo?
 
Dave6T4 said:
Like, it will be only 2 years out of your life. Your number would be 5. I think she just turned 55, so, you can likely get senior discounts at some places. Bonus!
Click to expand...
Half price meals at Dennys for over 55's :rofl:
 
I'd eat that.
 
YY1 said:
'cmon, man-

View attachment 1715242

Even without makeup-

View attachment 1715243
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If she had as much stuff sticking out of her, as she's had in her, she's look like a porcupine. There's only one thing her mouth is good for and it's not singing. She only has a few years left before she's going to need some work, starting with new bushings. Trash in, trash out.............. Remember the guns she was holding in the nightclub, one for killing and one for fun.

Well, I think I'm done here!!! :thumbsup:
 
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