1. zyzzyx

    zyzzyx FBBO Gold Member FBBO Gold Member

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    Sidney Poitier just passed, and in one of his interviews a while back he said that the two words
    that opened the most doors in his career was "Please" and "Thank You".
     
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    • Jerry Hall

      Jerry Hall FBBO Gold Member FBBO Gold Member

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      Don't feel bad, my step kid was fifty before I was smart enough to be asked a car question.
       
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      • BeepBeepRR

        BeepBeepRR FBBO Gold Member FBBO Gold Member

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        Lol its a chevy... Just a matter of time.
         
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        • Runner 68

          Runner 68 Tarnished Bronze Member FBBO Gold Member

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          Don't feel bad. My oldest is pretty much the same way. He isn't mechanical but at least he tries to learn. My youngest son on the other hand.....bought him a nice set of tools for Christmas about 4 years ago. From that point on that's all we buy for him on his birthday and for Christmas. He assembles kick ass trucks for Fox Factory these days, for a living.
          He drives a B5 blue 72 Duster to work when it's nice out, a 1990 First Gen lifted 2500 Ram when it's not nice out.

          I ask to borrow his tools these days. :)
           
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          • GetX'd

            GetX'd Making Life Great Again! FBBO Gold Member

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            Yeah - I guess that’s not an amazing story in and of itself - but a sad one for sure. This past couple of gens are really weak sisters and it scares me as much as we’re dealing with today how much worse it can be when they’re running the country. Your son saying what he did to his mother about a gift - geez. I don’t have kids - always wanted them but life didn’t flow that way for me. When I hear these stories I am often glad I don’t. Growing up they way I did - then being confronted with that - probably wouldn’t have been a pretty sight. You handled it well - I feel bad for your wife - w/o kids I’m not one to offer any “how to” advice. Good luck and stay the course There is still time for some life lessons to set in.
             
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            • Budnicks

              Budnicks You Can Just Thank Me Later FBBO Gold Member

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              :thumbsup:

              perfect response too...

              Bingo Most Interesting man finger point.gif
               
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              • Budnicks

                Budnicks You Can Just Thank Me Later FBBO Gold Member

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                Smiley Kids of a different era - before technology took over their life.png
                 
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                • GetX'd

                  GetX'd Making Life Great Again! FBBO Gold Member

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                  Yeah Bud - That’s another thing I think of often - how lucky we were to grow up when we did and how unbelievably much - and not for the good - that things have changed. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to raise a kid today in this world. And to think how our parents worried and prayed for us.
                   
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                  • Ron H

                    Ron H FBBO Gold Member FBBO Gold Member

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                    I hear stories about crappy kids and met some; glad to say my daughters have a great work ethic and my youngest has got interested in carpentry working with me building some things for her, coffee and kitchen table, plant stand, etc. As this progressed gave her more and more of the tool and machine work and if I don’t she says ‘let me do that’. She’s pretty small; but works out a lot. She’s had some ‘fun’ handling large boards, sawing, boring ¾” holes through hardwood, getting her to make sure she’s drilling straight. She’s in her early 30’s…lol, better late than never.

                    Can’t think of any of my friend’s kids all grown now that are slugs and some are talented in the trades. But they grew up with very handy dads as I did.

                    I know guys my age that can barely screw in a light bulb. Friend of a friend I got to know more recently in his 70’s…great guy…but wow zero being handy. He decided to try to replace the O-rings on his kitchen faucet as we were chatting about how we’ve done this over the years over breakfast couple weeks ago. Well, ahhh…he didn’t realize ya need to shut the water off. And he also didn’t know how. So there’s a deluge of water spewing and he calls a guy he knows at the hardware store…meanwhile the water is flowing…flowing. Good amount of damage calling in a crew to deal with this.

                    I’m reminded of a story about someone calling 911 during a power outage as they couldn’t open their garage door. This prompted me to ask my wife if she knew what to do if I wasn’t around. She wasn’t sure; but did mention noticing the red cord hanging down. And I had showed her, years ago, how to shut the water off; but thought I’d ask again after the fiasco above. She said she wasn’t sure…so a refresher drill. Same deal with my oldest daughter in her house “You know how to shut the water off?”

                    Off the thread rails a bit; but might ask your sig others if they know what to do if you’re not around..
                     
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                    • 3sloppydogs

                      3sloppydogs Well-Known Member

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                      I have no complaints an am proud of my 3 sons and I tell them that. The two youngest went in the USMC together and were in for 8 years. Both saw action and came out ok. Then they used the gi bill for college. One is now a weapons trainer/instructor for the secret service. The other is a black ops guy that does contract work for the nsa. The oldest didn't go that route but works for the regional Cat dealer doing EPG setups.
                       
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                      • 3sloppydogs

                        3sloppydogs Well-Known Member

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                        On the other hand I have a friend that did everything right but his son went off the rails. Got in serious trouble went to weekend jail for a year or so. Then the cops came to question him about some theft he was involved in and he shot at them. Now he goes to trial for attempted murder of the police in addition to many other charges.
                        He raised him right but some people bring this on themselves
                         
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                        • Ron H

                          Ron H FBBO Gold Member FBBO Gold Member

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                          I posted a thread about kids & crime and got some pushback on the extent of parental accountability with their offspring. Couldn’t disagree with some of the debate I received. Suppose it’s kids getting involved with the wrong crowd, sometimes hiding it well from their parents. In my upper middle class subdivision where I grew up, there were some real mini-Capone’s running around stealing stuff from open garages, and two of those shit-wads I befriended (for only a while) lifted stuff from our house. Part of my dad’s coin collection, his WWII flight jacket (caught the asshole trying to lift the jacket saving it after becoming more suspicious of this POS). Comical sideline how I set that skank up to catch him. My mother caught another red-handed trying to leave the house with some of our possessions. And this story gets longer with the theft of my elder brother’s tools (that were returned to him one night after he went ape-shit having a chat with a few kids in the neighborhood). Geezuz; these dipshits were from families feeding them well. Been over 50 years since I lost track of them and wonder if they did jail time or perhaps ripped off the wrong person…ending their evil ways.
                           
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                          • GetX'd

                            GetX'd Making Life Great Again! FBBO Gold Member

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                            That’s pretty bad when your own “friends” steal from you and your family. When I was a kid I was a really good kid until I hit high school. I won’t bore you with what happened but there was a time when I ran with some bad boys. I had kind of a 50/50 mix of friends. Some of it I attest to my parents kid raising style and some to my own young stupidity. Bottom line was I got in a bit of trouble at an early age which may have been the best thing to ever happen to me. Completely changed my mindset - ditched all the bad boys, enrolled in college, double majored and went in to Corporate America. I’m not sure which was more corrupt - my old friends (some who thought of themselves as mini mobsters) or the legitimate mob of the ever ruthless Corporate America…. Lol. But I saw a lot of wrong way youths when I was that age. And I also saw a lot of those that had everything that were simply assholes and never amounted to anything unless their parents owned a business for them to inherit. A lot of that too in my area. I speak from my own experience when I say youngsters need guidance and mentoring - often maybe even coming from some that are not their parents. A great double deal would be if you had both. I had neither - Consequently I learned everything the hard way. Thankfully everything turned out pretty well but it could have been via an easier road. I love to do for young people what I never had for myself - guidance and mentoring when given the chance. The more today’s youth are open and accepting and even searching for those things the better off they’re going to be.
                             
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                            • Moparnocar

                              Moparnocar Well-Known Member

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                              Curious if you dont mind, what was your parents raising style?
                               
                            • GetX'd

                              GetX'd Making Life Great Again! FBBO Gold Member

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                              No guidance no mentoring or advice. They also automatically took the side of whomever was blaming things on me - w/o really knowing all the facts. Happened a lot at school with teachers that had an agenda. Pretty soon I learned that I did it - no matter if I did or not. So eventually I began to care less and really started doing things I shouldn’t of just because it didn’t seem to matter either way. They never leaned your way. Always took the side of the authoritarians. I soon became very resentful of
                              Pretty much everyone outside my circle of friends. Eventually trouble came calling and I picked up the phone. As I said I learned and extremely valuable life lesson but no thanks to my parents or anyone else. It all came the hard way - but the important thing is it came. That’s why I like to help young people.
                               
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                              • Moparnocar

                                Moparnocar Well-Known Member

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                                Sorry to hear that, i probably mentor/give advice too much. :)
                                 
                              • kiwigtx

                                kiwigtx Henchman #4 Staff Member FBBO Gold Member

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                                Staying just slightly off the rails........I got a call one day last year from the Manager of a Quarry I work for on contract. He asked me to go around to his house and meet his wife - she was having trouble turning off their burglar alarm. Since I was only 5 minutes away I went immediately. I arrived to find that she had managed to open the alarm box, cut ALL the cables going to the panel inside, removed the motherboard and tripped the power circuit breaker......alarm still blaring out. I got on my ladder outside thinking there was a battery backup in the siren box - NO. Checked inside in case the internal siren was battery backed....still blaring out. I walked downstairs, and found a battery powered smoke alarm was going off. When I told the wife what I found, she put her hand over her mouth and just asked me "What have I done?"
                                I replied....probably about $1,000 :D The husband laughed when I told him the story.....a few days later I replaced their alarm system.....and installed better smoke alarms. :)

                                Now back on track. My two sons have shown little interest in working with tools so far. I am going to start teaching my elder boy (19) some basics starting tomorrow. Unfortunately I am one of those guys who is a bit possessive over doing work around the house. I know that if I do the job, the standard will be high. If a novice family member helps...I'll end up doing twice as much work in the end. It's funny how fast people disappear when there is sanding and digging to be done....but everyone wants to throw some paint on the wall. :cursin:

                                I grew up learning about cars young...my Grandfather taught me how to do basic car work starting around age 8. He showed me how to use his treadle lathe around that time, and I got quite good at making things like egg cups and small ornamental posts. My father got me doing some arc welding at age 17...and that was easier than I thought it would be. My apprenticeship threw me into learning about tools and machinery real fast. Too fast in one instance. :eek: I have a very healthy respect for drill presses now.....and bench grinders. :D Because I like my tools, I tend to buy good quality items, and it really annoys me when people mis-treat my tools. They cost me a lot of money and I make my living using them.....it's a shame that other people don't have the same respect for them that I do.

                                That leads me to the next thing. I am always nervous about the kids using tools....but I guess I need to make them understand how useful but also how dangerous they can be. I was doing a job for a friend about 35 years ago, and his young son picked up my battery drill (loaded with a 3/16" bit) and pointed it at me like a gun behind my back. Then he pulled the trigger. He was so close that the drill bit grabbed my sweat shirt and wound it up really fast. Too fast for me to spin around and grab it. He could have drilled a hole in my spine. Luckily all that happened was I had a hole in my sweatshirt forever, and got a bruised ass from the smack his father gave him.

                                My wife was taught by her father how to do basic service work on cars before she was allowed to get her driver's licence. She can change oil, tyres, check the battery and water etc....and pump gas all by herself. These days kids are not really that bothered about cars. Even worse now because of all these Lock-downs, people are restricted in their movements for long periods of time, and they forget that you can get out and about if you have the ability.

                                I suppose the good thing about home renovations is that if the family want stuff done, they are going to have to learn to help....otherwise the job is going to take forever. :)
                                 
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                                • 68BabyBlue

                                  68BabyBlue FBBO Gold Member FBBO Gold Member

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                                  When my only daughter was this age she put us through some horrible stuff, incidents like you describe were the norm, and it got much worse than that. That was 15 years ago. She finally got her act together, married a terrific (and stabilizing) guy, ten years together now, two nice daughters, and a full time job. We didn't raise her to be a jerk, and we can't take credit for her turning around. Guy I just passed my last GTX to went through the exact same stuff with his son, also had a happy ending. His daughter was a model kid. Surely no pat answers to these issues, hanging in there often seems to be worth it though. Wish you well.
                                   
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                                  • GetX'd

                                    GetX'd Making Life Great Again! FBBO Gold Member

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                                    And your kids are very likely much better off for it - if not today then they will be tomorrow.
                                     
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                                    • 4406bbl

                                      4406bbl Well-Known Member

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                                      I don't know your wifes family history but it sounds to me like he is still punishing his mother because his birth father is not around, some kids get a warped idea/chip on their shoulder over that even if the guy died. In any case he needs to be called out on it. I had a neighbor and her husband died of cancer, one son never got over blaming her, screwed with everybody, joined a gang, never accepted his step father, ended up beating his mother to a bloody mess, the other 2 kids were fine. Women are angels in these situations for sure, always forgive these actions, kids are lucky in that respect. He needs an azzkicking for treating his mother like that.
                                       
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