Knowing when to "zip-it".

[mmissile]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked
you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on
cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. ' Not
looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear you
know that this car doesn't have cruise control.' As the officer writes out
the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,'Can't you please
keep your mouth shut for once !! ?' The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well
dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your
speed would have been higher.' As the officer makes out the second ticket
for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says
through clenched teeth,'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?' The officer
frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt,
sir.That's an automatic $75 fine.' The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see,
officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I
could get my license out of my back pocket.' The wife says, 'Now, dear, you
know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your
seat belt when you're driving.' And as the police officer is writing out the
third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT
UP??' The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband
always talk to you this way, Ma'am?' (I love this part) 'Only when he's been
drinking.!!

 

[GetX'd]

A wife like that I don't need! Pretty funny though...

 

[oldbee]

Moral of the story?---- just agree with whatever your wife says, everytime!!!!!!

 

[polywideblock]

funny,
but the "wife " would have had to walk from that point on

 

[tnfastback]

Kind of reminds me of this one..........

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

 

[oldbee]

mmissile- I'm impressed with the o.e. post; if you're a "2-fingered" typer like me that took some time!!!!!!!!!! LOL

 

[MarPar]

somebody would be walking home...