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Laws Of The Natural Universe

multimopes

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LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath :
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Movies at home:
Same as Law of the Bath .

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Mincey's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
 
Murphy's Law of Parking Lots:
If there are only two people leaving in a parking lot, they will have adjacent parking spots and their doors will be facing each other.
 
Murphy's Law of Electricity: If you are carrying or using an extension cord, it will snag on something.
 
Murphy's Law on computers. A computers attention span is as long as it's cord!
 
Murphy’s Law on experimental aircraft: if the wings are going to come off of this thing, it will be when Capt Murphy is flying it!
 
First Law of Combat

"If your assault is going well, it's an ambush".
 
NJ Turnpike's Law of Close Encounters:
Cruising 70mph left lane, some POS tailgating you while left 2 lanes EMPTY, you nail it to get away and you have a close encounter with NJSP, complete with red & blue party lights, NEVER FAILS!!
 
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