cr8crshr
Well-Known Member
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- Feb 13, 2009
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The teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Ralph.
He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking..'
Then little RALPH says, 'I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench eating ice cream
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
Little RALPH replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring, ' but I like your thinking.'
RALPH ON MATH
RALPH returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
'Why?' asks the father?
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPH.
'But that's right!' says his dad.
'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
'What's the freaking difference?' asks the father.
'That's what I said!'
LITTLE RALPH ON ENGLISH
Little RALPH goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
RALPH says 'Mas-tur-bate..'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPH, that's a mouthful.'
Little RALPH says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.
LITTLE RALPH ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPH.
'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just freaking beautiful!''
LITTLE RALPH ON GETTING OLDER
Little RALPH was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
Little RALPH replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little RALPH answered, 'No, but he minded his own freaking business.' :laughing6::toothy12:
She calls on little Ralph.
He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking..'
Then little RALPH says, 'I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench eating ice cream
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
Little RALPH replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring, ' but I like your thinking.'
RALPH ON MATH
RALPH returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
'Why?' asks the father?
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPH.
'But that's right!' says his dad.
'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
'What's the freaking difference?' asks the father.
'That's what I said!'
LITTLE RALPH ON ENGLISH
Little RALPH goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
RALPH says 'Mas-tur-bate..'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPH, that's a mouthful.'
Little RALPH says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.
LITTLE RALPH ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPH.
'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just freaking beautiful!''
LITTLE RALPH ON GETTING OLDER
Little RALPH was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
Little RALPH replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little RALPH answered, 'No, but he minded his own freaking business.' :laughing6::toothy12:
