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Muffler bearings, left handed screwdriver, zyphoid balancer, What kind of fakeouts...

Had this guy at work that liked to stand around and not do much while the rest of us worked then go fill in the boss about what got done on the job at the end of the shift acting like he did most of the work. One day he was gone for most of the work and when he finally came back he asked what was wrong with the compressor when he saw it running (very large compressor in a refinery that needed the turbo replaced). We told him that the Hemalator valve was bad knowing exactly what he was about to do. Next day at the morning line up, the boss told us what a good job we did in replacing the Hemalator valve in record time. Then the boss asks him to please explain to him exactly what the hell a Hemalator valve is and what it does lol. His face turned red as a beet as we all stayed quiet but then he actually thought the boss didn't know and started explaining it to him. That's when the place fell apart with laughter!
 
As a painter a good apprentice would always have a rag with a little paint thinner on it in their back pocket. After a while it would start to burn and we found one apprentice with his pants down and his butt in the bathroom sink. We took one guy back to my house where each of us would drink a 24 pack of beer. The apprentice got stinking drunk and passed out. We woke him up and told him we were late to work. We all climbed in my truck and drove around the block a few times and pulled up in my driveway. I set the guy up with an extension cord and an orbital sander with no paper. He sanded my garage door with no sandpaper at four AM for half an hour before he passed out again. We woke him with the garden hose and soaked him head to toe. After that we told him he had fallen in the customer's pool and the Boss was on the way to the job. We handed him a tiny wash cloth to dry off with so he wouldn't get fired but the funniest part of it all was his hangover. That boy couldn't drink.
 
When a new parts man first started we were always ordering like a water pump for my 74 VW super beatle.
 
My BIL needed to drill and tap a hole for left handed threads. Found the right tap but told him I didn't have any left handed drill bits and that he would need to go buy one. He started to get his car keys and then stopped and thought about it lol
 
Cranky said:
My BIL needed to drill and tap a hole for left handed threads. Found the right tap but told him I didn't have any left handed drill bits and that he would need to go buy one. He started to get his car keys and then stopped and thought about it lol
Click to expand...

They do make left handed drill bits. You use them to remove bolts.. put the drill in reverse, drill into the bolt and if you're lucky it will bite and pull it out.
 
My little brother was in the Marines in the car pool, and one day his Sargent asked him what the new PFC was doing letting the air out of the tires on the XO's car. My brother looked at him with a sincere look and said, "well, you see Gunny, the XO's car has winter air in the tires, so I told PFC Copeland to take out the winter air and put summer air in the tires."

He just shook his head at my brother and tried not to laugh at his antics (again).
 
This thread reminds me, i gotta send someone to home depot monday to get some new bubbles for my level.:toothy10:
 
I was a helicopter mechanic in the army. When we got a newbie we send them around to different hangers for flight line ( where the helicopters are parked), rotor wash ( dirty air kicked up by helicopters) and bolt stretch
 
Should have told him it's stored in the hanger basement. Next to the boxes of grid squares.
 
Ask the kid at the local parts counter for a lower radiator hose for a '58 Volkswagen. He'll spend half the day looking for one ....
 
Tony said:
I was a helicopter mechanic in the army. When we got a newbie we send them around to different hangers for flight line ( where the helicopters are parked), rotor wash (dirty air kicked up by helicopters) and bolt stretch
Click to expand...

Can't forget jet wash (see rotor wash) or a bucket of ECP (Entry Control Point, where you get onto the flight line!). We sent a guy over to ask the Hangar Queen a question once. We also sent a guy to the maintenance shack for a bucket of electron fluid, so we could show him how to refill the radar. You can have fun with radar sweep, too. SIF paint is always a crowd favorite amongst both the aircrew and maintainers.
 
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Has anyone got a spare box of verbal agreement forms? :eusa_doh:
 
The trusty can of compression was a favorite.

Worked wonders on high mileage motors.
 
we got a regular customer at work, few months back he asked us for 50 headless bolts and 50 threadless nuts to suit, so I got one of the apprentices to cut the heads of 50 m16 bolts and drill out the thread on the 50 nuts, I then sent them to him with a invoice. haha
 
67440chrg said:
Being a plumber we always had apprentices get pipe stretchers. I even described them with chains and comealongs on each end.
Click to expand...

I have told helpers to get the tile stretcher

- - - Updated - - -

Cranky said:
Had this guy at work that liked to stand around and not do much while the rest of us worked then go fill in the boss about what got done on the job at the end of the shift acting like he did most of the work. One day he was gone for most of the work and when he finally came back he asked what was wrong with the compressor when he saw it running (very large compressor in a refinery that needed the turbo replaced). We told him that the Hemalator valve was bad knowing exactly what he was about to do. Next day at the morning line up, the boss told us what a good job we did in replacing the Hemalator valve in record time. Then the boss asks him to please explain to him exactly what the hell a Hemalator valve is and what it does lol. His face turned red as a beet as we all stayed quiet but then he actually thought the boss didn't know and started explaining it to him. That's when the place fell apart with laughter!
Click to expand...

Turbo compressor? I'm impressored
 
We put a metal handle on a ball peen hammer, screwed in a male air fitting, & gave it to the noobs as an air hammer. One kid hooked it up, used it and swore it worked.
 
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