Rodney Dangerfield

[Auggie56]

https://www.facebook.com/RodneyDangerfield/videos/1689599754424987/
“With cigarettes, my wife and I, we made a deal. We only smoke after sex. I've got the same pack now since 1975. What bothers me is my wife. She's up to three packs a day.”

 

[MarPar]

 

[MarPar]

 

[RT6PK]

"My wife said, Eat all of your food, there are starving people in China." I said, "Have sex with me, there are ***** guys in Canada."

 

[CoronetDarter]

Love Rodney - I have a 100 or so of his jokes memorized that I spring on my wife at random times - she loves 'em!
- I know my wife's having an affair - every time I walk in through the front door the parrot squawks 'Quick, out the window'.
- The other day my wife met me at the front door wearing only a black negligee - she was coming home!
- My wife loves talking to me during sex - the other night she called me from a motel.

 

[CoronetDarter]

I'll tell ya, my wife, she's a terrible cook. We're the only house on the block that prays after we eat.
I told her, 'if you learned to cook I could fire the chef'. She said, 'if you could learn to make love I could fire the chauffeur.'

She yelled at me 'take out the garbage'. I said 'you made it, you take it out'.

 

[BDF6]

 

[BDF6]

 

[Lets Roll]

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”

“What a doctor I’ve got—he’s really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then he hit me in the balls with a hammer.”

“Marriage...it's not a word, it's a sentence.”

 

[RT6PK]

My wife failed her driver's test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.

 

[Dennis H]

That classroom scene with Sam Kinnesin is a riot.

 

[beanhead]

Love that guy. He was like a dirty Henny Youngman

"I bet if you buy this hat they give you a free bowl of soup!"



"Oh, looks good on you though...!"

 

[Don selleck]

saw him in Vegas in the early 90's. He was finishing up with a women from the audience on stage for something, at the end before she goes back to her seat he bends her over backwards and lays a big wet kiss, had his hand all over her, he lets her go, big smile on her face, as she's walking off stage he says to her date or whatever, " take her to your room she's ready", and the crowd went wild. things sure are different now. He put on a great show.

 

[WileE]

I saw him live at his place in NYC back in the 70's. I will never forget it, he was always one of my favorites.

 

[khryslerkid]