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Subject: WOMEN

bm02tj

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Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman: “Which book has helped you most in your life?”

The woman replied, “My husband’s check book!!”

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A prospective husband in a book store: “Do you have a book called ‘Husband – the Master of the House?’”

Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”

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Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – darling, honey, luv. What’s the secret?"
Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her."

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Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ...
Simply showing marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!”

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A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.

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There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen. The rest get married and wonder what happened!

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Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.

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Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"

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COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!?

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When a married man says, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT - what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.

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A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?"
The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake! "
 
Reminds me of one of my fave Sam Kinnison moments. He had been ragging on women a little, so after his gig a woman walked up and asked him, "Why do you always trash women? Why so negative about them?"
"Okay, fair enough," Kinnison replied. "You wanna know why I rag on women so much? Because a MAN.... never broke my F#$king HEART! AAAAGHGHG! AGGHHH OHHH!"

LOL
 
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