MONROE COUNTY, NY — In preparation for an oncoming heatwave sweeping through Upstate New York early this week, the National Weather Service has issued a Shirtless Dad Advisory for the city of Rochester. With daily highs reaching the mid-90s through later this week, the NWS warns that Rochesterians are at an especially increased risk of accidentally catching a glimpse of their 67-year-old fathers shirtless, their untrimmed backs glistening with sweat and dotted with budding melanomas.
Sightings of shirtless dads have been reported washing cars and mowing lawns, often engaging in uncomfortably long and inescapable conversations about football with those unfortunate enough to be caught in their path. While these sightings may seem unserious, the NWS warns that these dads were raised in a time when wearing sunscreen made you gay.
“It’s important that when folks hear of a Shirtless Dad Advisory, they’re not picturing a dad like John Stamos in Full House, but rather a dad more like Dave Coulier in Full House,” warns National Weather Service representative Katie Shaw. “These situations can turn serious extremely fast. My dad has a birthmark that looks like a dick and balls above his right nipple, which is not something I- or anyone- should have to know about their father.”
The NWS advises those sensitive to shirtless dad sightings to seek shelter whenever possible and for those looking forward to the idea of spotting shirtless dads to seek professional help immediately.
Sightings of shirtless dads have been reported washing cars and mowing lawns, often engaging in uncomfortably long and inescapable conversations about football with those unfortunate enough to be caught in their path. While these sightings may seem unserious, the NWS warns that these dads were raised in a time when wearing sunscreen made you gay.
“It’s important that when folks hear of a Shirtless Dad Advisory, they’re not picturing a dad like John Stamos in Full House, but rather a dad more like Dave Coulier in Full House,” warns National Weather Service representative Katie Shaw. “These situations can turn serious extremely fast. My dad has a birthmark that looks like a dick and balls above his right nipple, which is not something I- or anyone- should have to know about their father.”
The NWS advises those sensitive to shirtless dad sightings to seek shelter whenever possible and for those looking forward to the idea of spotting shirtless dads to seek professional help immediately.
