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Woman Worried Her Eyebrows Aren’t Stupid Enough

Richard Cranium

Richard Cranium

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Woman Worried Her Eyebrows Aren’t Stupid Enough

Jul 15, 2024

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RICHMOND, VA — Local woman Shayleigh Jennings is reportedly growing worried that her eyebrows might not be stupid enough after a long look in the mirror this week.

Shayleigh's concerns were also prompted by her nine hours on social media yesterday comparing her own natural, well-kempt eyebrows to the outlandish and downright silly ones worn by influencers and her peers.

"There's just so much pressure these days," said Shayleigh. "It just feels like for a woman to be beautiful she has to have hideously unattractive and distracting eyebrows. And I'm afraid mine are just too normal for any man to ever really love me."

After consulting with cosmetic experts and surgeons, Shayleigh says she has a number of options for upping her stupid eyebrow game. Brow implants could give her that weird ridiculously bushy look that is currently all the rage or she could also consider getting distractingly symmetrical eyebrows tattooed on.

At publishing time, Shayleigh had returned to the mirror to paint some hideously unnatural eyebrows on her face.
 
IDK about that.

The current trend of thickly painted and almost always asymmetrical mega-brows is repulsive to me.
 
Like two caterpillars crawling on her brow!
:rofl:
 
When we first met, Mary had the chocolate arches....sort of the brunette equivalent of the golden arches at McDonalds.
(Not exactly true)
She started having them thinned and shaped.
Nowadays, I see Earl Scheib type eyebrows or something that looks like vandalism by a spray can graffiti tagger....
We knew a guy with a wife that had eyebrows that looked like the '70 Cuda Hockey stick side stripes.
 
What gets me is that they either pay for that and don't notice they don't match, or do it themselves...and don't notice they don't match.

I've seen some crazy lopsided, 90 degree on one but not the other, big ends both on the left, etc.

...and no one notices?
 
I don't get the look women go for with those FAT lips, and the money they pay for that. I used to give out fat lips for free in my youth.
 
As some people age, they either lose their eyebrows or they grow in crazy directions. I think that people look strange with no eyebrows.
 
Kern Dog said:
As some people age, they either lose their eyebrows or they grow in crazy directions. I think that people look strange with no eyebrows.
Click to expand...
Thanks a lot. Outside my control. So I am partly strange. One eyebrow got hit by a skate in a hockey game when I was about 14.
 
440 4 speed said:
Thanks a lot. Outside my control. So I am partly strange. One eyebrow got hit by a skate in a hockey game when I was about 14.
Click to expand...
I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. This just looks odd to me:

1721119704593.png

It is worse on women though. Mary has a blonde friend that had the eyebrow tattoo thing done since her natural eyebrows are so thin and pale in color.
 
I work with a lady that had the permanent eyebrow and lipstick done.

...but she had restraint and you would never know unless she chooses to tell you.
 
I long ago gave up trying to figure out women and their eyebrow maintenance decisions. But I'm thinking they're eyebrows get thinner with age. As men's get bushy.

This is just a theory that I'm afraid to ask. I have the feeling the answer is just too complex for me to stand there, and listen. I have vehicle and lawn duties to attend.
 
They eyebrow thing is made worse when they add all the eye stuff and make it look like their eye lids go around the side of their face... wtf? Then they close their eyes and you see a line going around their face to nowhere made by a crayon!
 
Fortunately my wife wears very little makeup.

Almost none.

Sometimes actually none.
 
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