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Guy At British Restaurant Not Sure If Chef Messed Up His Meal Or If It's Just Supposed To Taste Bad

Richard Cranium

Richard Cranium

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Sep 16, 2024

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THE UNITED KINGDOM — According to sources, American tourist Gary Ludwig isn't sure whether the British restaurant where he is eating lunch messed up his food order or whether the food is just supposed to taste like this.

"I'm here in London having the time of my life but the food is…um…is it supposed to taste like this?" Ludwig asked his wife. "We had some great curry yesterday but I guess that's not technically British food; today we're having something called "Kippers and Gigglyboo with Blood Paste" or something I don't know but I'm unclear if it's supposed to taste like this."

Ludwig's wife Clara also expressed confusion over whether or not the dish she ordered was supposed to have cold beans on it or if maybe the chef mistook her plate for a plate of dog food he was prepping for his pet.

"I like beans…but on cold toast?" Clara wondered. "And I had an egg at breakfast but it was both undercooked and overcooked at the same time. And I know the British once had some colonies in places with amazing spices but I've never tasted food quite so bland. I asked for hot sauce and the waiter looked at me like I was a bug and then just walked away."

As of publishing time, Clara and Gary's suspicions about British cuisine mounted after a sub-par dessert of "Spotted Dick Wellington With Ploughman's Yorkshire Haggis."
 
They should have got a take-away at a local Chippy, and washed it down with room temperature stout!
 
They should have had the ‘boiled baby’.
 
I was in a very nice restaurant once and to be safe I ordered spaghetti, how bad can you screw that up. It came out with very little tomatoes sauce and the noodles were hard. There were 10 or so people at the table and I wasn't interested in making a scene. I got up and went the the server and told her to get the chief to try to eat this and get back to me. If he says this is excepable, I'm not paying for anything on the table. She took my meal off the check and said that was how they prepared it. I could have used the spaghetti to pick a lock. Disgusting! Never went back....
 
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We were at a nice restaurant there over the Christmas holiday season years ago. Well aware that most British cooking is unpalatable I ordered what I considered to be the safest thing on the menu; roast turkey. There was so much sage on it that it was horrible. By then I was sufficiently freaked out by British cooking that I lost it and made a scene. Now understand, we are Canadian, famous for not making a scene. I remember my wife shushing me to be quiet after I hollered at the kitchen: “Turkey! How can you manage to f@ck up turkey?” I was fuming until we found a great Indian restaurant and had the best meal that we had the whole time that we were in country.
 
Funny, most of us don't care for what the Brits try to pass off as a meal... Yet back in the day the guys from Top Gear trashed Mexican food, Mexican cars & Mexican people which I generally really like.....



I also generally enjoy the guys from Top Gears sense of humor... They trash American Car/people/food too... Along with anyone else on occasion...
 
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I love real Mexican food, it’s very healthy compared to what most of us further north eat. And I have to admit, not even all British food sucks; they do have the fish and chips thing figured out and a good shepherd’s pie is something to write home about.
 
When we went to Britain years ago all the food had a strange taste to it. I even went to a MacDonalds and it tasted strange. I have always heavily peppered about everything I eat and the white pepper they use was strange at first and I thought I had picked up the salt by mistake. Then I sprinkled some in my hand and tasted it. That was it. White pepper tastes nothing like black pepper and gives food a strange (to me) taste. I started asking for black pepper but it was seldom I could find any. I did largely survive on fish and chips and granola for breakfast.

We spent 3 weeks with my Mom and Dad driving a rental all over England, Scotland and Ireland. I got all the driving chores as my Dad destroyed a wheel rim and tire driving over a curb before we got out of the airport. The English are great, friendly, generous people but they take their driving seriously and wandering, weaving Americans trying to drive on the wrong side of the road, driving in the wrong lane on the M, or creeping down a narrow, rock wall bordered single lane in the countryside really tests their patience. I got honked at and flipped off more times in 3 weeks over there than in the rest of my driving history. But that’s another story.
 
In '06 my ex-boss and I spent 3 1/2 days in Wales. The Welsh seemed like a bunch of unhappy people but they had the food figured out!
 
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