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9 Deadly Words Used by a Women

I've heard every one of those and then some.
 
"I don't think you should buy it" she said. "why the hell not? I'm the one working around here. Get a freakin job if you want a say in this" I said. "I'm leaving" she said. Need I say more? :D That's one way to get your way!
 
I always laugh when young guys say they are looking for a woman that isn't crazy. I tell them that ALL women are crazy! You just have to find one that you can deal with her level of craziness. I can't handle to much crazy so I married one that is mellow but she has her moments. My buddy can take crazy because his wife is completely NUTS. To each his own.
 
While we're on the subject, "are you getting close?" is suuuuuuuch a turn on.
 
....."are you getting close ?????", should be # 10. this is usually brought upon in the rare occasion of actual sex ( or reasonable facsimile thereof ). she is usually making a mental "TO-DO " list for you...and wants you to do something OTHER than what you are currently doing! This is the point in time where the ever famous "honey-do-list" is created.
 
My dad said, "marry a nymphomaniac" I could never find one.
 
Here's a list of our list, we need to make sure the women see.

These are our rules! Please note.. These are all numbered "1 "ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. BOTH Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one!!!

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that whenever and where ever it happens.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really! !

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football, Basketball or Baseball.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 
Been married 8 years. These lists are funny & tragic at the same time... because they're true. Serenity now!
 
My dad said, "marry a nymphomaniac" I could never find one.

my dad told me to never get married coz THEYRE ALL NUTS.....he was right and i never did get married....and i can tell you at ANY given time where my cars are, i could NEVER do that with ANY woman.
 
serenity now...insanity later
 

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