Does Fathers Day get any easier?

[toolmanmike]

This weekend was especially tough for my buddy Ted. He buried his son on Saturday. He took his own life which made it even harder to take or understand. Every Fathers Day weekend will be a sad reminder of him being gone.

 

[0DegreeEngineer]

This weekend was especially tough for my buddy Ted. He buried his son on Saturday. He took his own life which made it even harder to take or understand. Every Fathers Day weekend will be a sad reminder of him being gone.

That is a terrible thing to happen to anyone. My father had to bury his oldest son it takes a part of a man as I witnessed first hand no parent should ever have to bury their child.

 

[Hey-O]

Questions are the way we learn. We all have different levels of knowledge and on different topics. Some might be transmission experts buy know very little about electronic ignition systems. Some may know about bodywork but not engine tuning. You get the idea.

Never be afraid to ask an honest question. Do your homework first and then ask away - that is the power of FBBO!

X2. And in life in general. I Had surgery a few months ago and I told the surgeon I was almost perfect. He looked at me funny and I said, I picked you. Whatever I can't do, I surround myself with the best of those that can. Always know your limitations and correct as needed. It always starts by asking question, then finding the best way forward. How do you think I got here, I asked for the best.

 

[barnfind]

You learn to live with it and adapt, so the perception of pain lessens over time. Lost my dad 3 yrs ago, and my mom's long time guy a few weeks ago. Moms 90 now and it was a good thing for both of them, no more pain and suffering. Be glad for the memories and time shared.

 

[Richard Cranium]

This weekend was especially tough for my buddy Ted. He buried his son on Saturday. He took his own life which made it even harder to take or understand. Every Fathers Day weekend will be a sad reminder of him being gone.

That’s just awful. I can’t imagine having to live with that.

 

[Hey-O]

This weekend was especially tough for my buddy Ted. He buried his son on Saturday. He took his own life which made it even harder to take or understand. Every Fathers Day weekend will be a sad reminder of him being gone.

My heart goes out to your friend. Our son died 16 years ago June 15. Father's day yesterday was difficult.

 

[toolmanmike]

My heart goes out to your friend. Our son died 16 years ago June 15. Father's day yesterday was difficult.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[terrywalker]

I lost my father in Dec 2019 when he died at the age of 92. I lost my father-in-law in 2021 when he died at the age of 91. They both fell and hit their heads and were gone a few days after that. My FIL was one of the kindest people you could meet. He tried to have kind words for everyone even if they didn't give it back. My father on the other hand was a difficult person for me to deal with. Growing up he used a thick belt quite freely to deal with my brother and I. As we got older, he would use his fist. We had a really bad argument in 2014 and I told him what I thought of him. It really hurt him. Yes, I apologized, and he became a nicer person after that. I really held the abuse against him. I met a second cousin of his a couple of months before my dad died. She came to his funeral in Ohio and asked if my sister and I would visit her sometime. She lived about 2.5 hours away. In 2021, we did visit her. She told me things about my dad's grandmother, who raised him for a number of years, that I didn't know and took us to the house where his grandmother raised him and told us some history. I came away from that realizing my dad was a product of his upbringing ( his mother didn't want him due to a divorce) and he grew up during the depression years so he was a product of the times. I gained some insight. My dad also shared my interest in cars. He was always asking me about my car projects. In 2016, I drove my new 2015 Challenger from Washington state to Iowa so he could see it. He loved it. Whenever I visited him after that, we would talk cars and we would go around the parking lot of the nursing home he lived in and look and talk about the cars. I miss him. Time does take some of the sting off of the loss but we have the memories of them. We will see them again.
Terry W.

 

[halfafish]

I just lost my Dad four months ago. It was not unexpected, but it's still no fun. To answer your original question when losing someone close, at least for me, it does get better with time. Initially the pain is sharp but it does ease up.

I focus on a couple of things that help. Dad made it to 94 and was super sharp up to the last few years. Dementia/Alzheimer's slowly started to erase him till he was just an empty shell at the end. I don't think about the last times of blank stares. I focus on the first 90 years of the robust, highly intelligent, and capable man he was.

As my brother mentioned one day, Dad's passing is what winning looks like. To get nine decades of good health is something denied to far too many people. I was one of the lucky people to be approaching 70 and still have my Dad. RIP, sir...

 

[Budnicks]

Sorry to hear about your loss, of your father
It's tough & sort of gets a bit easier for me at least over the decades...

some tough reads here too,
you all have my deepest heartfelt sympathy

I lost a few loved ones, too early
*my Mom like 24 years ago now, complications of MS
Dr's took 10+ years to diagnose it, by then it was advanced...
*Lisa 4 months after my mom, almost same deal liver & kidney failure
under different circumstances
from getting a tainted transfusion with hepatitis from a blood transfusion,
after my youngest came into the world/born
She suffered 11 years of agony, I still wouldn't give them years up,
even knowing what I know now/today or how tough it was, dealing with it
*I lost my youngest sister at 39, some years ago 20-ish,
she wasn't leading the healthiest of lifestyles & drugs, driving around
with a scumbag truck driver, doing crank, strung out on who knows what else

All of them are tough, to deal with at time,
I try to remember the best of them, but
losing my mom hits me the hardest around Mothers day, still
It was 10years of struggle, so we were sort of prepared
just not at that specific time/day...
Lisa is a constant thought in the back of my mind, so much reminds me of her...
Her birthdays, the kids birthdays, mothers day, Christmas are all hard, rodeo on TV
so many memories...

My dad is 88, had a quadruple bypass like 6 or so years ago
almost a year in rehab after them keeping him under for over a week,
alcoholic/quart a day drunk, he was going thru detox/forced to
& shaking & tremoring so bad, they worried about him tearing the stitches & stapples out
the whole ordeal has made me see stuff in a different light
he's not the healthiest (because of bad choices he made for decades),
& a hypochondriac so it's tough
but I still have him... It's just a matter of time...

 

[0DegreeEngineer]

I am really appreciative of the support. I am glad you all are, and were willing to share your experiences it means a lot, more than you all can know.

 

[RTDaddy]

Lost the Old Man when I was 19, he was 45. Still tough to accept. But remember the lessons he did get a chance to teach, and one very good lesson from the experience, don't wait to do things, you may not get another chance.

 

[oldkimmer]

I lost my dad when I was 13, I’m now 67. I sometimes think back to what might have been. What different direction my life would have taken. I have some good memories and some not so good memories. But I wouldn’t change my life now for anything. I am very thankful for my girl friend, daughter and grand daughter. Also for my small circle friends. Kim

 

[Hey-O]

I am really appreciative of the support. I am glad you all are, and were willing to share your experiences it means a lot, more than you all can know.

Everyone is here for a few reasons, or they would ask a question about their car and move on. As long as we're all here, might as well share.

 

[Wojo68]

I lost my dad when I was 13, I’m now 67. I sometimes think back to what might have been. What different direction my life would have taken. I have some good memories and some not so good memories. But I wouldn’t change my life now for anything. I am very thankful for my girl friend, daughter and grand daughter. Also for my small circle friends. Kim

Well said. Very well said