Doesn't take much to make me happy.....or best of the one liners.

[moparedtn]

Had a little too much to drink last weekend. Went to bed with Shania Twain, woke up with Mark Twain.

(Clicky and they move!)

 

[Dave6T4]

At my advanced age, it is nice to have some one call almost every day and check up on me. My guy is from Pakistan and he says he works for Visa Card security.

 

[Photon440]

I'm easily satisfied; I'll accept the very best.

 

[Auggie56]

 

[Hey-O]

The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.

 

[Hey-O]

So what if I don't know what "Armageddon" means? It's not the end of the world.

 

[33 IMP]

I'm right, 97% of the time. Who cares about the other 4%?

 

[Dave6T4]

In school my teacher asked me for the definition of "apathy". I told her I didn't know or give a damn!

 

[Hey-O]

Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.

 

[Dave6T4]

My wife says I am paranoid, but I think she is out to get me!