Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,

[Auggie56]

Kentuckians, Tennesseean's and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore...


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'


2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'


3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'


5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'


6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'


3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'


5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ***' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.

 

[Ranger16]

When filling out questionnaires, for Race I always check "Other" and write in "European American".

 

[FJ6AAR]

I write Confederate American. That really blows their mind!

 

[hawkeye]

I check Native American because I was born here.

 

[KENTON]

I always write "over protected spices" as we all know we are.

 

[DeltaV]

For Race, I enter "circle track" or "quarter mile".

For Sex, I enter "yes, as frequently as possible."

 

[snakeyes]

I put alien but did that get their looks