cr8crshr
Well-Known Member
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- Joined
- Feb 13, 2009
- Messages
- 7,729
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- Northwest Nevada
>> Yesterday, I wore my Vietnam Veterans cap when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that
>> I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the "Walmartians"
>> is always good for some comic release. Besides I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent this establishment.
>>
>> But, I digress... enough of my psychological fixations. While standing in line to check out, the guy in front
>> of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vietnam Vet?"
>>
>> "No," I replied.
>>
>> "Then why are you wearing that cap?"
>>
>> "Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812." I thought this was a snappy retort.
>>
>> "The War of 1812, huh?" the "Walmartian" queried, "When was that?"
>>
>> God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936," I answered, as straight-faced as possible.
>>
>> He pondered my response for a moment and then asked, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"
>>
>> "It was a Black Operation. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way too much fun!
>>
>> "Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"
>>
>> I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy, and in a low voice said. "I'm not sure. I was the
>> only Caucasian on the mission."
>>
>> "Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't
>> you kind of stand out?"
>>
>> "Not really. The other guys were all wearing white camouflage."
>>
>> The moron nodded knowingly.
>>
>> "Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I
>> shouldn't have said anything."
>>
>> "Oh yeah?" he gave me that, 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"
>>
>> With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them,
>> would we?"
>>
>> The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me
>> was about to have a heart attack, she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
>>
>> After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw the Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a
>> young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him
>> another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped into the
>> car and sped out of the parking lot in a flurry of dust.
>>
>> What a great time I had! Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland Security cap. Then the next day I will
>> go to the DMV so I can wear a Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty out the place. Whoever
>> said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!
>> "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history, when everybody stands around reloading"
>>
>> Thomas Jefferson
>> I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the "Walmartians"
>> is always good for some comic release. Besides I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent this establishment.
>>
>> But, I digress... enough of my psychological fixations. While standing in line to check out, the guy in front
>> of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vietnam Vet?"
>>
>> "No," I replied.
>>
>> "Then why are you wearing that cap?"
>>
>> "Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812." I thought this was a snappy retort.
>>
>> "The War of 1812, huh?" the "Walmartian" queried, "When was that?"
>>
>> God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936," I answered, as straight-faced as possible.
>>
>> He pondered my response for a moment and then asked, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"
>>
>> "It was a Black Operation. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way too much fun!
>>
>> "Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"
>>
>> I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy, and in a low voice said. "I'm not sure. I was the
>> only Caucasian on the mission."
>>
>> "Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't
>> you kind of stand out?"
>>
>> "Not really. The other guys were all wearing white camouflage."
>>
>> The moron nodded knowingly.
>>
>> "Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I
>> shouldn't have said anything."
>>
>> "Oh yeah?" he gave me that, 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"
>>
>> With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them,
>> would we?"
>>
>> The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me
>> was about to have a heart attack, she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
>>
>> After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw the Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a
>> young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him
>> another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped into the
>> car and sped out of the parking lot in a flurry of dust.
>>
>> What a great time I had! Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland Security cap. Then the next day I will
>> go to the DMV so I can wear a Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty out the place. Whoever
>> said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!
>> "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history, when everybody stands around reloading"
>>
>> Thomas Jefferson
