here is a joke my mom told me about a penguin

[MDK_MRMATT]

this penguin is driving down the road and his tires goes flat

he pulls off to a service station and asks the guy to look at it.

the guy says "this may take a bit go across the street and and get something to eat"

so the penguin goes and gets some vanilla ice cream and gets it all over his face

he goes back not knowing and asks the guy "so hows it look"

the man looks up and says "well looks like you blew a seal"

the penguin replies "oh no that just ice cream"

 

[super-bee_ski]

Yup
My mom told me that one too......,

Any more?

 

[MDK_MRMATT]

a guy goes into a bar and orders 5 shots of jack daniels and the bar tender says "oh are you celebrating"

guy says "yah my first bJ"

bar tender says "how bout a beer on the house"

guy says "no thanks if the 5 shots dont get the taste out nothing will"

 

[MDK_MRMATT]

what do you call two guys running in a dress



a drag race

 

[metaldad]

 

[kiwigtx]

this penguin is driving down the road and his tires goes flat

he pulls off to a service station and asks the guy to look at it.

the guy says "this may take a bit go across the street and and get something to eat"

so the penguin goes and gets some vanilla ice cream and gets it all over his face

he goes back not knowing and asks the guy "so hows it look"

the man looks up and says "well looks like you blew a seal"

the penguin replies "oh no that just ice cream"

 

[Mopars & Missiles]

 

[MDK_MRMATT]

i had a buddy that was a man trapped in a woman's body

then he was born

 

[Ranger16]

I had a buddy that claimed to be a lesbian trapped in a mans body. I think he may have been on to something.

 

[MarPar]

 

[khryslerkid]

These two "Good Ole Boys" are driving down the road in their pickup and they see a goat with his head stuck in the fence. So the driver pulls over, runs up behind the goat and has his way with it. He comes back to the truck and tells his buddy "It's your turn". His buddy says "OK but do I have to put my head through the fence?"

 

[kiwigtx]

These two "Good Ole Boys" are driving down the road in their pickup and they see a goat with his head stuck in the fence. So the driver pulls over, runs up behind the goat and has his way with it. He comes back to the truck and tells his buddy "It's your turn". His buddy says "OK but do I have to put my head through the fence?"

...an oldie but a goodie....thanks 'Kid