James Bond To Stay Male, Will Be Played By Elliot Page

Richard Cranium

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LOS ANGELES, CA—James Bond fans around the world breathed a sigh of relief this week as Paramount Studios announced that the next iteration of the beloved British superspy will still be a male character played by a man.

"We are pleased to announce that we have chosen male actor Elliot Page to play James Bond!" said a spokesperson. "James Bond has always been a man, and we want to be true to that legacy."

"Cheerio!" said Page, attempting his best British accent. "I'm absolutely gobsmacked to be given this role, mate! The name's Bond. James Bond! Teeheehee!"

According to sources, Page was given the role due to his acting skills and also due to the fact that he's a man who is very, very male.

In preparation for the role, Page has started an intense workout regimen in hopes of gaining weight until he weighs in at around 130 pounds.

There is currently no official word on who will play the main Bond girl in the next film, although sources say it will be Caitlyn Jenner.
 

Red63440

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Sorry but with lipstick he would look like a woman, oh wait “he” is a gay woman. So much for a man in the roll of James Bond. Hell he could play Bond and the Bond girl at the same time!
 
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dla4567

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This nut was on the show Umbrella Academy and played the part of a girl who turned out to be a lesbian. Then she decided she was a boy, but still wanted to keep her role on the show, soooo….. she was a girl who thought she was a boy, who was pretending to be a girl, who was also a lesbian???
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Red63440

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Sorry but with lipstick he would look like a woman, oh wait “he” is a gay woman. So much for a man in the roll of James Bond. Hell he could play Bond and the Bond girl at the same time!
She was given an award for best leading actress, not actor.
 

33 IMP

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I realize this is a joke, but.....
I have no idea who, or what, that is....... but i bet my girlfriend does. Another bad sign.
 

Red63440

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dart4forte

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Look at it this way, the studio can save money by having Bond and the Bond girl rolled into one
 

Triplegreen500

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The original post is a joke, but I'm tired of seeing "woke" remakes on TV. "Highway to Heaven" is being redone...with a black woman angel. "Wonder Years" is being redone...with a black family. Wokeness for the sake of wokeness....can't wait to see if they decide to screw with "Threes Company" or, God forbid, "The Brady Bunch"!!
 

dla4567

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Let’s not forget Life cereals “Mikey” is now a girl and State Farm switched “Jake” to a black guy. It never ends
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The original post is a joke, but I'm tired of seeing "woke" remakes on TV. "Highway to Heaven" is being redone...with a black woman angel. "Wonder Years" is being redone...with a black family. Wokeness for the sake of wokeness....can't wait to see if they decide to screw with "Threes Company" or, God forbid, "The Brady Bunch"!!
 

beanhead

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A transgender Canadian, huh.....they blew it. They could have gotten someone with Bond film experience like Grace Jones.
 
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joe smith

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The original post is a joke, but I'm tired of seeing "woke" remakes on TV. "Highway to Heaven" is being redone...with a black woman angel. "Wonder Years" is being redone...with a black family. Wokeness for the sake of wokeness....can't wait to see if they decide to screw with "Threes Company" or, God forbid, "The Brady Bunch"!!
But the little gay black " whatever" on the Cinderalla Movie, who played Tinkerbell...Well what can I say.... PERFECT.... I am still laughing
 

SteveSS

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I hate the State Farm ads because they make their customers look stupid and the black guy is condescending. I like the Liberty Insurance ads because they do the opposite. And they have a Plymouth Duster.
 

Budnicks

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View attachment 1173571

LOS ANGELES, CA—James Bond fans around the world breathed a sigh of relief this week as Paramount Studios announced that the next iteration of the beloved British superspy will still be a male character played by a man.

"We are pleased to announce that we have chosen male actor Elliot Page to play James Bond!" said a spokesperson. "James Bond has always been a man, and we want to be true to that legacy."

"Cheerio!" said Page, attempting his best British accent. "I'm absolutely gobsmacked to be given this role, mate! The name's Bond. James Bond! Teeheehee!"

According to sources, Page was given the role due to his acting skills and also due to the fact that he's a man who is very, very male.

In preparation for the role, Page has started an intense workout regimen in hopes of gaining weight until he weighs in at around 130 pounds.

There is currently no official word on who will play the main Bond girl in the next film, although sources say it will be Caitlyn Jenner.
:poke:

:gay: yeah right

:rofl:
 

dart4forte

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Oh, no doubt, commercial america is pushing the woke agenda. Look at all the commercials depicting mixed marriage families, even the cartoon commercials. Whatever, really don’t give a rip. It’s like all things, this will pass in time. As a personal note I have nothing against mixed families.
 

Triplegreen500

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As a personal note I have nothing against mixed families.
Same here, nor do I have issue with non-whites of any color, or same-sex couples...just stop making it mainstream and shoving it in my face in every commercial break.

I also stopped watching NCIS Los Angeles, when they decided they needed a burkah-wearing team member.
 

33 IMP

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I play several "mystery" games, off-line. A third of the characters in the games are black, and half are gay/lesbian. Reality, nowhere to be found.
 

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