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"Lexophile"

cr8crshr

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"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that love using words in rather unique ways,

such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is

pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best one is held every year.

This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.



When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.



And the cream of the wretched crop:



Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
 
Hear about the lady who backed into a buzz saw???..............disaster...................................MO
 
This might be a little much for the main board, I saw it on facebook last night.

On a sign at a liquor store: Instead of buying her chocolates why not liquor instead?
 
The cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence was udderly destroyed.

Throw father down the stairs, his hat.

Throw the horse over the fence, some hay.
 
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pretty good Tuck

Jeff Foxworthy has some really good ones too....
 
If you stand in front of my Charger, you'll get tired, if you stand behind it, you'll get exhausted. I kept it Mopar :steering:
 
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