Life In The Aging Lane

[cr8crshr]

> If This offends, suck it up!
>
> Since it was such a crappy day I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life and came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
>
> Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
>
> Lance Armstrong….I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs. Hell, when I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.
>
> Drive By…someone broke into my house last week. They didn't take my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels. The Sick bastards!!!
>
> The Agony of Aging…on the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".
>
> Video Scam…just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's all about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
>
> Pregnant Prostitute…Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?" "Hey dumb ***, she replied, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart! Go figure.
>
> Later

 

[GetX'd]

Tuck you never fail to brighten up my day"....... Some good stuff there!

 

[kiwigtx]

You're on fire today Tuck. :rolling::rolling:

 

[Homstead]

Ha Awesome! I just sent that to the wife!

 

[Mocajava]

"Favorite 18 Holes"....LMAO!

 

[super-bee_ski]

Jeesh Tuck!
That stuff is HILARIOUS!
Thanks for brightening "our" Friday afternoon here at Edwards!
"WE" all laughed at those!

 

[Auggie56]

Been afraid to post ones like this. Guess the bloom is of the rose with this one.

 

[cr8crshr]

Jeesh Tuck!
That stuff is HILARIOUS!
Thanks for brightening "our" Friday afternoon here at Edwards!
"WE" all laughed at those!

Again thanks Ski and all the rest. It's my Military Humor and continual lack of ever trying to be PC. It just ain't in my DNA...cr8crshr/Tuck

 

[Bladecutter]

Tuck! You crackin me apart with that! A Riot Man. And im BACK.....Thanks to the arbitrating skills of yhe Esteemed Skister.
Somehat coinciidentally, i threw up a tread today........"give me inpolitically correct or give me death" Cranky came in with a response that droppef me right off the couch, and now Your wit has really moved it all over the top, You're Classic Mon.
Also i picked it up on Auggies a/c tread, You flew Connies on a regular basis? Oh Man o wanna hear ALL!!! Were they Civilian Birds or what is it.... EC-121's, i know You are AF Retired. I flew a 749 one time is all, when i was 14, i can still smell it.
Thanks for the sideache, im still having spasms..

 

[uwss]

I want more!!!!!!

 

[threewood]

Nice!

 

[fwi]

I don't know where you get these but I am in tears right now!! Thanks for being our "Rodney Dangerfield".

 

[cr8crshr]

"I got a million of em"...Tough Day Tough Day...I get no respect either....

 

[super-bee_ski]

God Bless Rodney Dangerfield!

-I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

-My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

-I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

 

[fwi]

Rodney grew up in a though neighborhood, even the restaurant was a tough place....the special one night was broken leg of lamb!

The first time I had sex I was scared, boy was I scared....I was alone!

 

[Cranky]

Some good sheet mon!