cr8crshr
Well-Known Member
- Local time
- 2:16 PM
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2009
- Messages
- 7,728
- Reaction score
- 14,751
- Location
- Northwest Nevada
> If This offends, suck it up!
>
> Since it was such a crappy day I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life and came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
>
> Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
>
> Lance Armstrong….I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs. Hell, when I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.
>
> Drive By…someone broke into my house last week. They didn't take my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels. The Sick bastards!!!
>
> The Agony of Aging…on the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".
>
> Video Scam…just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's all about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
>
> Pregnant Prostitute…Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?" "Hey dumb ***, she replied, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart! Go figure.
>
> Later
>
> Since it was such a crappy day I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life and came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
>
> Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
>
> Lance Armstrong….I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs. Hell, when I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.
>
> Drive By…someone broke into my house last week. They didn't take my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels. The Sick bastards!!!
>
> The Agony of Aging…on the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".
>
> Video Scam…just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's all about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
>
> Pregnant Prostitute…Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?" "Hey dumb ***, she replied, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart! Go figure.
>
> Later
