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Minimum tool list


Well-Known Member
Local time
4:22 PM
May 21, 2011
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Winnipeg, Manitoba
Must have tools .....

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!'

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a BITCH!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
I need to get me 1 of them "Son-of-a-Bitch-tools"...LOL.. Add, Hand tools like, Assorted Open end & Box wrenches in std. & metric, an Inch-lb. & Ft.lb. Torque wrenches, Assorted 1/4", 3/8" & 1/2" drive, ratchets, breaker bars, Deep & Shallow sockets in std. & metric, various length extensions in all 1/4", 3/8" & 1/2", swivels in all assortments, all the sockets & extensions in both hardened for pneumatic air tools & chromed for regular use, an Abrasive saw/Chop saw, a hydraulic vertical press & assorted dies, 1/4", 3/8" & 1/2" electric & pneumatic w/reverse drills & assorted #ed bits in all sizes, a Cleeko Tool & tons of Cleeko's, a reg. & pneumatic Pop Rivet gun & assorted collection of rivets in Aluminum & Stainless Steel, a magnetic Protractor, assorted styles of bar & C-Clamps for welding, Jack Stands in 1-3 ton several of each, a 2' framing square & 4'-6' straight edge, assorted knifes & scrappers, assorted files & rasps in round, flat, fine & course, a magnetic torpedo & 2' level, a plumb bob, a tubing bender & assorted dies, a Pipe bender & assorted dies.... I'm sure there are others too... All of which, are great trowing instruments except the heavy 1's....
No garage is complete without one of these.


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My father-in-law used to tell me that if it can't be fixed with channel locks and a screwdiver, you're either a lousy mechanic or it can't be fixed.
He was wrong:pottytrain5:musta been an electrical problem:icon_weed:

LOL... He was an electrician. I used to break his stones when he'd get out his pocketknife. He used to shake his head when he looked at my tool box. If I got a new wrench, he'd look at me and say "could a done that with channel locks", then smile at me. Miss him a lot.
rlisbee, pm me please with your whole name. rl isbee is my first and middle initials and last name minus the first letter. Thanks, we may be related depending on the rest of the letters. lol.
And you found this 3 year old thread how? lol
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