scotts74birds
Well-Known Member
News from Strasbourg: Daimler-Chrysler World Headquarters
The new Daimler-Chrysler company has reached an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for all corporate communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, former Chrysler chairman Robert Eaton conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan to coincide with the merging of the companies.
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Exekutives will enkorage the removal of double leters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e" s in the languaj is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the forth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from words kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sesibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understant ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali av kum tru.
The new Daimler-Chrysler company has reached an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for all corporate communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, former Chrysler chairman Robert Eaton conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan to coincide with the merging of the companies.
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Exekutives will enkorage the removal of double leters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e" s in the languaj is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the forth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from words kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sesibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understant ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali av kum tru.
