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Practical math, Chicago style

Richard Cranium

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Chicago schools are finally starting to teach practical math that kids can use in real-world situations . . .

1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many mofos can Lajames ice on a drive-by before he gotta reload?

2. Willie has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sell an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his ****?

3 Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day crack habit ?

4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to get the upside?

5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steal 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail?

6. Pedro get 6 years for murder. He also get $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spend $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he get out?

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?

8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of ******* Tyrone knocked up ?

9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a boa constrictor that eats 5 rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income ?

10. Marvin steals Juan's skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15 mph, Juan load his .357 Magnum piece. If it take Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he get whacked?
 
That's great!
 
That's a classic - you should send that to the mayor. They may be able to use it in the schools ....
 
The mayor won't listen unless ur a liberal Democrat!!
 
The last one mad me laugh out loud, scared the damn cat on the back of my chair, around my neck, and he scratched the **** out of me as he took off from a sound sleep. Still funny though.
 
Are the hoes doing part time tricks or full time? And in the drive by do any bullets miss fire?
And is the skate board theft going down hill?
I need more information to solve the problems


...... the answer is 2 for all of them !
It's always 2
 
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