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Southwest Introduces New C-17 Cargo Plane Capable Of Carrying Your Mother-in-law

Richard Cranium

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Dec 15, 2023

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DALLAS, TX — Southwest Airlines announced Friday that they have purchased a Boeing C-17 Globemaster widebody cargo aircraft that's capable of transporting your mother-in-law. This announcement comes on the heels of Southwest's announcement of a new "passengers of size" policy for all domestic flights.

"Southwest has always welcomed our circumferentially-challenged customers onboard our aircraft by allowing them to purchase extra seats," said company spokesman Jed Porkins. "As a natural extension of this policy, we're proud to introduce a new aircraft that's capable of transporting our largest of passengers: your mother-in-law."

Originally designed for military use, Southwest's new C-17 aircraft comes equipped with an 18-foot by 88-foot cargo area decked out with full-length floor rollers, reinforced titanium tiedown anchors, and a full-width hydraulic cargo door. With a max payload capacity of 170,000 pounds, the C-17 is more than capable of transporting an M1 Abrams battle tank, a Triton-class nuclear submarine, or your mother-in-law.

Porkins said the new aircraft is expected to cut down your mother-in-law's travel time significantly, as she will no longer need to travel via freight train or ocean liner. "We think your mother-in-law is going to be very happy flying with us here at Southwest," he noted.

At publishing time, the airline confirmed their new cargo jet was in for repairs, having blown out several tires during landing on your mother-in-law's inaugural flight.
 
If God forbid, my state’s Governor ever gets elected president they will need to use a C17 as Air Force 1. Or possibly even a C5B! :rofl:
 
If God forbid, my state’s Governor ever gets elected president they will need to use a C17 as Air Force 1. Or possibly even a C5B! :rofl:
I think the Antonov An-225 Mriya might be a better fit, it's Russian made so he'll feel right at home, and it may stand a chance of getting off the ground with his fat *** in it.
 
The only way this new addition to service and aircraft is going to be successful is if they have a back of the aircraft cargo delivery door. Open the back of the plane jaw and push the “cargo“ out over the runway. And that’s for first class passengers only. For coach I guess it would have to be parachutes on flyover……
 
I think the Antonov An-225 Mriya might be a better fit, it's Russian made so he'll feel right at home, and it may stand a chance of getting off the ground with his fat *** in it.
The only flying AN-225 was built in Ukraine, but the Russians did destroy it.
 
The only flying AN-225 was built in Ukraine, but the Russians did destroy it.
Built in the mid 80's, if I recall, when Ukraine was still part of Russia, ergo Russian made. I'm aware that it was destroyed. Attempt at sarcasm without feeling the need to be historically accurate.
 
In the mid 80's, if I recall, when Ukraine was still part of Russia, ergo Russian made. I'm aware that it was destroyed. Attempt at sarcasm without feeling the need to be historically accurate.
Ukraine was never part of Russia, it was part of the Soviet Union, which also included Russia and thirteen other countries.

However, sarcasm enjoyed. :)
 
Ukraine was never part of Russia, it was part of the Soviet Union, which also included Russia and thirteen other countries.

However, sarcasm enjoyed. :)
Correction appreciated, I should have said The Soviet Union and built with Russian collaboration, as I understand it.
 
I think the Antonov An-225 Mriya might be a better fit, it's Russian made so he'll feel right at home, and it may stand a chance of getting off the ground with his fat *** in it.
Now I have a desire to know more about this flying beast after all the above facts. Here it is in its glory:
IMG_4795.jpeg

It’s an incredible sight to see. What a whale of an aircraft. Sad to know only one was built. I saw the pictures of the wreckage and can’t find the desire to post them.

After just recently escaping Illinois I believe that Gobernor Toilet could possibly eat this plane and gain the title “The Gobernor Who Ate A Whale”.

But seriously I want one of these;
IMG_4796.jpeg
Only 5350 pieces, what a spectacular model and priced at $89.
 
The only flying AN-225 was built in Ukraine, but the Russians did destroy it.
Supposedly they have a 2nd airframe that was never completed and the Ukrainians are salvaging what parts they can off of the destroyed one and refitting the 2nd airframe with those and new parts. I have seen that beast of an aircraft in person, and it is quite impressive. And what with my extensive "HEAVY LIFT" experience in flying as an aircrew member on the C-5/A/B for the USAF, it would only be proper to revive it again...cr8crshr/Bill :usflag: :usflag: :usflag:
 
If this isn't big enough then your MIL has no business attempting to fly..

maxresdefault.jpg
 
The one with the door plug that blows out next to the mother in laws seat would do the trick.
 
i saw the Mriya (dream in Ukrainian) at The Farnborough Air Show. Aluminum overcast, darkened the skies over my house on final. Most amazingly, it turned around, on the grass!
 
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