The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

[kiwigtx]

(no apologies here if this has been posted before....)

I had lunch with two of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a
mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by
greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask
over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather
bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman
of my dreams...I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.


The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a
raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I
opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we
had wild sex all night.



Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings,
stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he
said,

"What's for dinner, Zorro?"

 

[khryslerkid]

 

[kiwigtx]

 

[moparnation74]

Zorro...

 

[GetX'd]

Catherine Zeta-Jones all night long....

 

[kiwigtx]

Catherine Zeta-Jones all night long....

....and then some.

 

[Kern Dog]

Hey man, I have to call bullshit on this...."ALL night long" ??? Really? Even during the ages of 17-30, Not me nor anyone I knew ever did it that long. Imagine even in the Summer when the dark of night is maybe 8 1/2 or 9 hours, who can do it non stop for that long? Seriously....Viagra or not, who can continue to hammer away for 8 hours? Even if you could, I'd guess she would dry out, you'd both be sore and raw, you'd get dehydrated from sweating too.
In theory, it sounds great but I have to defer to the science aspect. Maybe this is a topic for the people over at MythBusters.

 

[Kern Dog]

Catherine Zeta-Jones all night long....

Careful....Her lady bits have been linked to throat cancer.

 

[kiwigtx]

Hey man, I have to call bullshit on this...."ALL night long" ??? Really? Even during the ages of 17-30, Not me nor anyone I knew ever did it that long. Imagine even in the Summer when the dark of night is maybe 8 1/2 or 9 hours, who can do it non stop for that long? Seriously....Viagra or not, who can continue to hammer away for 8 hours? Even if you could, I'd guess she would dry out, you'd both be sore and raw, you'd get dehydrated from sweating too.
In theory, it sounds great but I have to defer to the science aspect. Maybe this is a topic for the people over at MythBusters.

Jokes, Funny Stuff, Anything Goes

 

[Kern Dog]

Yeah.. I get that.
I was being silly to illustrate a point. That saying has been going around for years though. Lionel Ritchie even had a song with the title "All night long".
Taken in a completely literal sense, you'd have to admit that it is not normal or even likely to have sex all night long.
I like taking phrases that people say and scrutinizing them to the 9th degree.
This tastes like ****.
That car runs like a raped ape.
Those are other favorites of mine.
Funny joke though, Kiwi....

 

[metaldad]

Hey man, I have to call bullshit on this...."ALL night long" ??? Really? Even during the ages of 17-30, Not me nor anyone I knew ever did it that long. Imagine even in the Summer when the dark of night is maybe 8 1/2 or 9 hours, who can do it non stop for that long? Seriously....Viagra or not, who can continue to hammer away for 8 hours? Even if you could, I'd guess she would dry out, you'd both be sore and raw, you'd get dehydrated from sweating too.
In theory, it sounds great but I have to defer to the science aspect. Maybe this is a topic for the people over at MythBusters.

eat some oysters. youll go at it multiple times.
true experience, not heresay

 

[not so famous bob]

eat some oysters. youll go at it multiple times.
true experience, not heresay

I sure didn`t need any oysters when I was young !

 

[chtampa]

"This tastes like ****", was always followed by, "Roll her over Clem, roll her over".

 

[Cranky]

How bout 3 times in one night?? To me, that's the definition of all night long. Fall asleep after the first time and wake up and do it again....then again

 

[MarPar]

How bout 3 times in one night?? To me, that's the definition of all night long. Fall asleep after the first time and wake up and do it again....then again

And a sammich somewhere in between.

 

[Cranky]

And a sammich somewhere in between.

Well....the one time in my WHOLE life that I managed to do that, we didn't eat....any food that is. Another factor is that I was only 19 and in pretty good shape.

 

[MarPar]

Well....the one time in my WHOLE life that I managed to do that, we didn't eat....any food that is. Another factor is that I was only 19 and in pretty good shape.

I used to do that once every few months back then. I still can do it now, but I need my wing man Jack for the extra boost.

 

[Kern Dog]

How bout 3 times in one night?? To me, that's the definition of all night long. Fall asleep after the first time and wake up and do it again....then again

Yeah, I've done that. It didn't take me 8 hours though.

 

[metaldad]

i hope it wasn't with yourself.............




















sorry, couldn't resist

 

[Cranky]

Yeah, I've done that. It didn't take me 8 hours though.

Who said anything about 8 hours!?